Aunt Sandi Says

My sixtieth year is over and - as of today - so is this blog called Sandi's Sixtieth Year. Thank you for reading my blog entries, and thank you especially to those who left comments.

I invite you to follow my new blog at www.auntsandisays.blogspot.com. You will see that the banner at the top says "information and opinion, facts and feelings, argument and acceptance." The truth is I'm not sure how the new blog will develop, but I do have some ideas I'd like to try.

Please visit me at my new address. I invite you to leave a comment and become a follower. And, if you have a blog I may not have visited, please let me know.

I will close this blog with an autumn blessing I found by Kenny Moore at www.uponthesacredstage.blogspot.com/2008/10/autumn-blessing.html

"May this fall season reconnect us to the ever-changing aspects of our lives: color, complexity, beauty and mortality."

Faith and Hope (Again)

Since writing about faith and hope in my blog entry of September 25, I have thought about these words again and again.

What I wrote last month focused mainly on faith in myself and hope in myself, particularly with regard to blogging. Lately, I've been thinking about faith in God and hope in God and how these words apply in all areas of my life.

If I have faith in God, how does that relate to faith in myself? If I have hope in myself, how does that relate to hope in God? How does this all fit together - or does it?

I wish I had some cosmic insight on this topic, but I don't. What I do know is that these two words keep coming up for me in a way that can't be ignored. I'll continue to think about them and write about them as the next decade of my life begins.

I did find this to share ( thanks to http://www.mobixone.com/decent-sms/three-nice-stories-on-faith-trust-and-hope/ )

All the villagers decided to pray for rain.  On the day of prayer, all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.  THAT'S FAITH.

Think of a one-year-old baby. When you throw him in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him.  THAT'S TRUST.
Every night, as we go to bed, we have no assurance we will wake up alive the next morning - but we still have plans for tomorrow.  THAT'S HOPE.

Now I have another word to think about - trust!

My Trip to California

I spent my October 8 birthday in sunny weather over a long weekend in Cathedral City (next to Palm Springs).  It was a wonderful time spent reading and writing, attending a workshop, and seeing a part of California I had not seen before.

One of my favorite memories is the time I spent each morning looking out the sliding glass door to the view beyond.  I opened the door several inches so I could enjoy the cool morning air as I saw the blue of the swimming pool, the green of the golf course beyond, and the gray-brown hills in the distance.  The last morning, I got up early enough to capture this photo:

The rising sun transformed the hills to a beautiful pinkish hue.  As it rose higher, the colors changed:

On the day of my birthday, I was pleased to attend a workshop featuring Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way.  Since I am currently taking a class on The Artist's Way at home in Portland, this was particular interesting and encouraging to me.  In fact, even though I had no computer/word processor with me on my trip, I did some writing every day as Cameron recommends.  (see http://www.juliacameronlive.com/ for more information)

I did take advantage of one of the big tourist attractions in the area:  the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway.  It is quite an experience to travel up to the 8500-foot level and enjoy the spectacular view.  For more on my tram ride, please follow my new blog at http://www.auntsandisays.blogspot.com/

Autumn Poetry

The morns are meeker than they were,
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry's cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town.

The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown.
Lest I should be old-fashioned,
I'll put a trinket on.
            -Emily Dickinson

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run.
            -John Keats

It's Ending / It's Beginning

My sixtieth year officially ended on Saturday, but my sixty-first year is just beginning.

As I settle back into my regular routine at home after a week of birthday travels, I am thinking about the past twelve months - but even more about the months to come.

As with so many things in life, an ending is also a new beginning.  This blog will come to a close by the end of October, but my new blog information will be posted here soon. 

The Sylvia Beach Hotel

I just returned from a stay at the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport on the Oregon Coast.  Although I have visited Newport many times and have actually been inside the hotel to visit the gift shop and peek into a couple of the rooms, this is the first time I've actually been a guest.  Why did I wait so long?

For those not familiar with this unique beachfront inn, its guest rooms are each decorated to represent authors and their works.  I stayed in the J.K. Rowling Room decorated to reflect many of the details in her Harry Potter books.  In fact, everywhere I turned, there was another object connected with Harry, from the white owl in the hanging cage to the display of magic wands upon the wall.

Other rooms are decorated in honor of Agatha Christie, Dr. Seuss, Mark Twain, and many other authors.  There is also a community room with comfy seating, a selection of books and puzzles, and a spectacular ocean view.  A hot breakfast is included with each night's stay, and the staff are very friendly and helpful.

Go to http://www.sylviabeachhotel.com/ to find out more.  As Harry would say, "It's brilliant!"

750 Words A Day

I happened upon a very interesting website the first week of August.  It's called "750 Words" and is apparently inspired by the three written pages a day that Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, recommends for people wanting to unblock and rev up their creative energy. 

 I decided to challenge myself by writing 750 words a day using the format at http://www.750words.com/.  As of today, I am proud to report that I've written 750 words a day for 55 out of the last 56 days, and I credit this extremely easy-to-use website with supporting me in this effort. 

For someone who has not had great success in keeping up any kind of journaling practice for most of her life, this is huge.  If you are at all curious, go to http://www.750words.com/ and check it out.  It's fun to read about whether you decide to try it or not.

Write on!

Faith and Hope

More than once, I've found myself in discussions about whether there is a difference between faith and hope.  Not everyone looks at these words in the same way; I'm not sure I always look at them in the same way.

One year ago (September 25, 2010 to be exact), I started writing this blog.  I hoped that I would be able to keep it up, but I don't think I had faith that it would actually happen.  The more I blog entries I wrote, the more my faith in my ability to keep blogging increased. 

As my birthday approaches, I am thinking about my blogging future.  I now have a lot more faith in myself as a blogger.  I have faith that I will continue blogging into my sixty-first year.  What I hope is that I will blog even more regularly.  I hope that the content of my entries will be more relevant and substantive.  I hope I can figure out how to reach more people with my blog.

As I write this, I'm starting to think about how the words faith and hope might apply to other areas of my life.  When I set goals and intentions for the coming year, where do faith and hope come into the process?  I am reminded of a familiar passage:

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  (Hebrews 11:1)

Friday Flashback: My Grandparents' Piano

This photo was taken at Mom's birthplace, the Wolf Creek Inn in southern Oregon.  The page resting on the piano says:

This piano belonged to John and "Dinky" Dougall who owned the Wolf Creek Inn from 1922 to 1934.  The piano, built in 1887 (the year the Wolf Creek Inn was built), was originally designed as a player piano and was purchased by the Dougalls in 1923...

When the Dougalls sold the Inn in 1934, the piano was shipped to Mr. Dougall's sister in Astoria, Oregon, where it was used for piano lessons.  The Dougalls' daughter Jane acquired the piano in the 1950's and had it shipped to Corvallis, Oregon, where it was used to instruct her children.

In 1999, the piano was offered to the Wolf Creek Inn.  It has now come home after these many years to once again delight a new generation.

I remember one of the first things I learned on this piano was how to find "middle C."  It's too bad the cover is pulled over the keyboard in this photo.  The ivory keys, chipped here and there, would bring back even more memories of piano lessons, piano practice, sheet music, and recitals.

It was great fun having a piano in our home in Corvallis, especially at holiday time.  Now it sits at the Wolf Creek Inn like it never left.

Autumn Equinox

If I could create another holiday on the calendar, I probably would pick the Autumn Equinox.  Not being absolutely sure what the word "equinox" means, I looked it up.  The approximate scientific explanation is that it is a point at which the sun shines most directly over the equator, making night and day almost equal in length.

A simpler way for me to say it is "the first day of autumn."  It's the official beginning of the season when the days become shorter than the nights, and the weather becomes a little cooler (in the northern hemisphere anyway).  It is the best time of the year as far as I'm concerned. 

Here's what I wrote in this blog on October 21, 2010:

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."  (George Eliot)

Autumn is my favorite season, and October is my favorite month.  Not just because it's my birthday month, but because the air is cooler and crisper, and the colorful leaves seem to demand my attention.  I don't know if it's the football season or upcoming holiday festivities, but there is a sense of anticipation unlike any other time of year.

While growing up, Autumn always meant the beginning of a new school year, with new classes and new clothes and months of possibility stretching ahead of me.  As an adult, Autumn still feels like a beginning to me, with my October 8 birthday marking the start of another year on this planet, another chance in this life to see what I can make of it.

This year, the Washington Post says, "the autumnal equinox occurs Friday at 5:04 a.m. (EDT), signaling the official start of fall in the Northern Hemisphere."  I believe that is 2:04 a.m. (PDT) - only minutes away.

Ah, the anticipation of delicious autumn!

This Change Is Good

Hot weather is something I tend to endure rather than enjoy.

Just last week, I felt I was doing everything in slow motion.  Even my thinking processes seemed sluggish in the 90+ degree temperatures.  Each night, I aired out my apartment, praying for cool breezes. 

As I write this evening, it is 57.5 degrees.  The pavement is wet from today's rain.  The air smells fresh.  I used my oven tonight without fearing my apartment would grow too warm. 

This change is good.

Ten Years Ago

"Grief is the most patient and persistent of all of life’s companions.  It is an ancient, universal power that links all human beings together."  (Molly Fumia)

Today, the tragic events of September 11, 2001 - in New York, in Arlington, in Pennsylvania - are being recalled, stirring up thoughts and feelings about our nation’s loss.  While it was a loss for all Americans, it was also a very personal loss for many whose loved ones perished that day.   For me, as speeches and events focus on 9/11, I remember two other days that same week:

September 9, 2001.  It was a Sunday, and it was Grandparents’ Day, and it was my niece Natalie’s 24^th birthday.  Lifelong challenges with deafness, epilepsy, and developmental disabilities led to my niece living in a group home.  Mom and I visited her that Sunday.  We went to church, where the entire congregation sang “Happy Birthday.”  Natalie could not hear, but she knew exactly what was going on and smiled delightedly at the attention.  After church, we went to have her lunch favorite – tacos.  Natalie and I gave Mom her Grandparents’ Day card and a jar of honey, too.  When we took Natalie back to her group home, I remember signing “I love you” as I said good-bye.

September 13, 2001.  It was a Thursday, and it was the Unity World Day of Prayer.  I returned home after an early-morning prayer service and received a phone call.  Natalie's mother, my sister Peggy, said she had been called to the group home, but they wouldn't say why.  Mom and I arranged to meet her there.  When we arrived, we learned that Natalie had died in the night.  The remainder of the week was spent in making final arrangements for this beloved family member whose unexpected passing magnified our heartache following 9/11.

With all her challenges, Natalie lived a life of unconditional love and acceptance.  Everyone was her friend.  She is missed every day and lives in our hearts always.

"The presence of that absence is everywhere."  (Edna St. Vincent Millay)

One More Month

I started this blog to keep some kind of record of my 60th year on this planet.  When I started, I had no idea how my year would unfold or exactly what I would write about.  Twelve months stretched in front of me with a wealth of minutes, hours, and days leading toward my 60th birthday.

Today I have exactly one month left.  It's almost as though I can feel a clock ticking, counting the remaining time until October 8.  It feels a little scary and a little disappointing to know I have not done everything I wanted to do in the past 11 months.  When I read my Twelve Month Plan, though, I can see a record of what has been accomplished in whole or in part.  That feels a little comforting and a little exciting at the same time.  And, I still have 30 more days!

One of the most remarkable things for me is that I actually created a blog and followed through by writing in it several times a month (89 posts to date).  I also discovered there are lots of people blogging, more than I ever imagined, and that they are using their blogs in  many different ways.  This in turn has prompted me to do some reading in other people's blogs, and I have learned things I probably would not have discovered otherwise.

Now, I am starting to think about my blogging future.  Stay tuned.

When Things Go Wrong . . .

I am enjoying the classes at http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/ this year.  The September handout for the One Little Word class contains this thought-provoking passage credited to Anne Lamott:

“Carolyn Myss, the medical intuitive who writes and lectures about why people don’t heal, flew to Russia a few years ago to give some lectures. Everything that could go wrong did -- flights were cancelled or overbooked, connections missed, her reserved room at the hotel given to someone else. She kept trying to be a good sport, but finally, two mornings later, on the train to her conference on healing, she began to whine at the man sitting beside her about how infuriating her journey had been thus far.  It turned out that this man worked for the Dalai Lama. And he said, gently, that they believe when a lot of things are going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born-and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."

(I also found this story in Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott at http://www.salon.com/life/lamo/1997/12/18lamo.html)

Getting Better

"Nothing is worth more than this day."  (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

It's good to feel better today.  The temperature is still at 70 degrees this afternoon (at about 1:00), a nice change from the last week or so.  My GI symptoms are lessening, and I hope this is a sign of long-term improvement. 

To illustrate how energetic I feel, I thoroughly cleaned my stovetop and even scrubbed one of the drip pans!

I also attempted to make poached eggs this morning, a skill I have never quite mastered.  I was somewhat successful, but I think I'll try again later this week to see if I can keep the egg white from almost completely disintegrating.

It's wonderful to feel like doing something - even if it's as mundane as scrubbing a drip pan or poaching an egg.

Soooo Tired But Soooo Prioritizing

My apartment heated up like a car parked in the sunshine as the thermometer rose above 90 degrees over the weekend. For me - a person who considers 65 degrees an ideal temperature - this is a severe heat wave.

I keep drinking fluids, especially water, to combat dehydration. I avoid using the stove, the toaster, or anything that generates heat. It seems to take a great effort to go anywhere, but I enjoy the frozen food aisle when I get to the grocery store. Nonetheless, the hot weather, on top of the ailments I've mentioned in previous blog entries, has resulted in feelings of weakness and exhaustion.

The good thing about this experience is that I take greater care to establish my priorities for each day. I don't like to plan on feeling tired and weak, but - if I do - I want to know that I have accomplished at least one thing I consider high priority. The surprise is usually not in what I have done - it's in what I have been able to let go of doing.

For example, I may succeed in going grocery shopping and putting the groceries away at home. Then I feel ready to rest or even sleep. Later that day or evening, I may actually pay some bills and load the dishwasher. At that point, I may feel like I've done about all I can do on that day. Guess what! I didn't change my bed, read some articles I wanted to read, send a card to my cousin, and several other things. Guess what else! I can still do them tomorrow if they become a higher priority.

I call this OWTM (One Woman Time Management). Fortunately, I have no spouse or children at home, so I am the one who is responsible for making the priorities and for seeing the priorities are carried out. The great sense of power comes when I realize I can change my priorities as much or as little as I want along the way.

Finishing My Degree

Twenty-two years after completing my undergraduate degree, I entered the master's program in adult education at Oregon State University.  The program was designed to be completed in 3 years; it took me more like 4-1/2 years.

This evening I took time to look over my final project - a less formal one that occupied the last month (May 2005) while our portfolios were being reviewed by University faculty.  I did mine in the form of a scrapbook (of course!).  Looking at the pages now, I marvel at all I was able to accomplish in spite of feeling slow, confused, and technologically challenged at times.

This was truly the achievement of a long-time goal, and one I am grateful I had the opportunity to complete.  Here are the final words in my project scrapbook:

"The more I see, the more impressed I am - not with what we know - but with how tremendous the areas are that are as yet unexplored."  (Senator and former astronaut John H. Glenn, Jr.)

Thumbs Up!

This morning, I stood at my kitchen sink, holding a glass of water and some pills I needed to take.  All of a sudden, I realized I was holding that good-sized glass of water in my left hand!

After several months of difficulties with my elbows, wrists, hands, and especially thumbs, particularly on the left side, I can see progress.  The ongoing tendency of my left arm to go to sleep with an unpleasant tinglyness has been lessened considerably.  I sometimes have days now when my wrists, hands, and thumbs hardly bother me.  If they start hurting a bit, that reminds me to take it easy on them (Fortunately, there is no need for me to peel and slice pounds of potatoes every night).

My being able to raise a glass with my left hand was especially exciting because that hand had begun to lose some of its strength and coordination - it was just not functioning as it had in the past.  To regain some of that function is extremely encouraging.

Some may have climbed a mountain, patented a new product, or had a baby recently - and that's good.  Me, I am grateful for drinking a glass of water with my left hand.

I Love The Oregon Coast

What I love about the Oregon Coast (this photo taken in June 2009 at Newport):

• the view of the ocean stretching out to the horizon
• the continuous sound and movement of the waves
• the imprint of my feet in the wet sand
• the fresh-smelling, salty air
• picking up interesting rocks, shells, and pieces of driftwood
• looking at tide pools filled with sea life such as starfish and sea anemones
• eating all kinds of seafood, from clam chowder to grilled salmon
• seeing the colorful kites flying, especially at Lincoln City
• casual attire is always appropriate
• teasing the waves – and getting my feet wet!
• looking at all the other people – and dogs – on the beach
• it is close enough for a day trip and fascinating enough for a long weekend
• the intriguing landmarks(Yaquina Head Lighthouse, Devil’s Punch Bowl, Haystack Rock, etc.)
• the graceful flight of the seagulls
• browsing – and buying – in all the little shops

Waiting

My son was due to be born on August 2, 1974.  He didn't actually make an appearance until August 17.  I only have a dim memory of what the waiting was like.  I do remember it was hot weather, and the blackberries at the end of our dead-end street were ripening.

Along with the waiting, there was a sense of expectation.  Soon, I would give birth to a baby boy or girl.  I was eager to embark on the adventure of motherhood.

Today, I feel I am waiting again.  The weather is hot, but expectation and eagerness are lacking.  I wonder when my health will improve and if I will be able to resume a somewhat normal life - normal for me, at least.

In the meantime, I have come across this passage in my reading:

"I have learned that patience is not my ability to wait, it is how I act while I am waiting."  (Joyce Meyer)

Re-Focus On Joy

On July 6, I wrote in this blog, "It has been a challenge to find joy over the last several days as back pain has flared and digestive issues have taken a lot of my attention."  Today, as long as I am very careful, my back pain is much less, although it sometimes flares up for no apparent reason.  My digestive issues continue, with only short respites when I fast and take OTC medication.

I am less inclined to pay attention to the problems of others (real or fictional) as they tend to contribute to a sense of discouragement.  Not only can the evening news be distressing; even a "Masterpiece Classic" on PBS can be gloomy.

Sometimes words of encouragement do lift my spirits, however, and I have read and re-read these words from Isaiah 55 over the past week:

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Lights In My Life

My sister (that is, my other sister - not the one whose photos were in my last blog entry) shared these photos with me recently.

They were taken on June 25 at the Relay For Life to benefit the American Cancer Society in Hillsboro, Oregon.

I made these luminaria in memory of my beloved friends Laurence, Marie, Barbara, and Jae - who continue to be lights in my life today.

These pictures are precious because they illustrate the glow of love and gratitude I feel when I think of these people I have known.  I am thankful, too, for my sister and her thoughtfulness in taking these photos.

Looking Skyward

One of my sisters took these photos from the car as we drove home from visiting Mom last month.  First, we noticed a white jetstream. 

Then we noticed a second jetstream forming, almost perpendicular to the first.  As we watched, the two jetstreams intersected.

Call it "a cross in the sky" or "X marks the spot" - either way, it was spectacular.

After spending most of the day focusing on details of Mom's care, and meeting with staff about moving Mom to another part of the residence where she can receive more support, this was an opportunity to raise our eyes to the heavens and look at the bigger picture.

Finishing Up 2010

My sister and I have set Monday, July 18, as our day to finish the paperwork for Mom's 2010 tax returns and send it off to her accountant.  Reviewing some of these documents reminds me of all that's happened over the past few years with Mom and her house and our family.

For several months, we had talked about moving Mom into assisted living - we'd even turned down an opening that was offered to us in December of 2008.  We told them to keep us on the list for the next opening, never dreaming it would come in less than 30 days. 

By the first week of March 2009, we had moved Mom into her studio apartment at Mennonite Village - a big change for her after living for 47 years in the 4-bedroom family home in Corvallis.  That spring, we began to interview realtors and start the process of clearing out almost 50 years of accumulated possessions.

We held a family work party where we cleared out the garage, then moved everything out of the attic into the garage.  We held numerous yard sales.  Things really accelerated in August with house painting and a kitchen remodel.  And, we were still trying to empty most of the house for "staging."

The house went on the market in October 2009, and we felt we could breathe a little sign of relief, even while crossing our fingers that the perfect buyer would show up. 

Soon after the holidays, word came that there was an opening for Mom in the Alzheimer's/dementia residence at Mennonite Village.  After less than 11 months in assisted living, she moved to what would probably be her final home at the beginning of February 2010.

Things had been slow in the real estate market over the winter, so our realtor planned an open house for April 2010.  This prompted us to redouble our efforts to make the house as presentable as possible, and within weeks we had received an offer.  Counter offers came next, followed by various inspections and alterations and negotiations.  By June, the house was sold.

So much happened in 2009 and 2010 that already it is beginning to get fuzzy in my memory.  Sometimes it is hard to believe it all happened.  But, looking at the paperwork, I am reminded of all there was to do, all those who helped us do it, and all that we accomplished.

Stay tuned.

Joy

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you . . ."  (St. Paul in I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

I read a passage about joy this evening.  It stated that it is possible to find joy even during the most difficult times. 

This reading reminded me of my blog entry of December 18, 2010, where I said, "Moments of joy might show up more frequently in my life if I release my preconceptions about what joy is 'supposed' to look like." 

It has been a challenge to find joy over the last several days as back pain has flared and digestive issues have taken a lot of my attention.  Even the treatments that are supposed to move me in the direction of better health are not very pleasant sometimes.

What a good time to remember that the tiniest flower or the smallest gesture or the briefest word may be an opportunity to rejoice.

"Rejoice evermore.  Rejoice evermore.  Oh, I wish that it was always in my heart and in my tongue."  (John Adams as portrayed in HBO mini-series)

Speeding Along

It's now official - we are halfway through 2011, and I am 3/4 of the way through Sandi's Sixtieth Year.

It's easy to think about what I haven't done, what goals I haven't completed, what things I've procrastinated on, and what intentions seem to have fallen by the wayside.

So, I'm going to turn my attention to the progress I have made by updating my Twelve Month Plan and writing in my personal journal.  I want to focus on what has happened, how I have been blessed, and where I want to go from here.

Stay tuned.

Composition for Collage

After struggling with a scrapbook layout earlier this spring, I decided to take an on-line class called "Composition for Collage."  It's offered by Big Picture Classes (http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/), and the teacher, Claudine Hellmuth, is great.  (http://www.claudinehellmuth.blogspot.com/)

Since I look at a scrapbook page as a collage of sorts, I thought this composition class might help me out.  I am learning a lot (not having had an art class since 7th grade), and I'm having fun.  Here is one of my first assignments:

This is intended to be an example of "horizontal composition" which I hope is illustrated by the rock formations against the sky as well as the highway and its yellow stripe. 

I enjoyed putting my "vignette composition" together:

A four-week class won't make me an expert on composition, but I am hoping it will aid in my future scrapbooking efforts.  Now, if I can only learn how to crop photos for posting in my blog.

Flashback Fridays

I recently saw a discussion on "Validating Life through Flashback Fridays" - using photos and stories to validate memories of life happenings.

This photo shows the old suitcases that were packed dozens of times over the years for vacations, weekend trips, summer camp, and sometimes even for day outings.  The dark blue one was "Dad's" and the set of cream-colored luggage was "Mom's."  Who actually used which case varied from trip to trip.

I'm sure my siblings join me in recalling the many times we packed and unpacked these suitcases.  They accompanied us on trips to many of the western states and several memorable summers on Bainbridge Island, Washington.

When we emptied out Mom's house, we put the suitcases in a yard sale.  To our relief, they did not sell and were placed in the family storage unit.  I know we can't keep them forever, but I'm glad now that I have a photo of them as a part of our family history.

The various pieces of luggage I've used as an adult do not hold the memories that these beat-up old suitcases contain.  (I hope they feel validated now.)

Dairy Free? (Part 2)

I was looking forward to eating and drinking dairy products again.  I drank a glass of milk on Sunday - no problem.  I ate some cheese on Monday, and my stomach hurt  afterward.  I drank a latte on Tuesday, and my stomach hurt again.  Today I am not sure what I want to eat or drink. 

What I do know is that it is possible to live without dairy products for days at a time - because I've done it now.  Living without dairy - or even most dairy - seemed like too much difficulty and too much deprivation for me until I did it. 

There are probably no scientific conclusions I can draw from my experience over the last several days.  However, I feel much more open to using dairy alternatives and discovering what the best dietary practices are for me.

My initial objections and fears about this experiment all seem a little silly now.  Isn't that how life happens sometimes? 

A Child Artist

Someone sent me this link today:  http://youtu.be/QI4WPuudERo

From there, I found another - very beautiful - link:  http://youtu.be/23hWMvSrZx8

I find this young artist fascinating.  The heated comment her work has generated is astonishing.

She was on 60 Minutes a couple of years ago, too:  http://youtu.be/nBL5lJygTsw

Check it out.

Starting Day 7

This morning marks the beginning of Day 7 of my dairy-free trial.  I still have no clear signs that going dairy-free has affected my physical health at all - except that I have lost a couple of pounds.  Even so, I'm not sure if the weight loss is a result of:

• consuming less fat in foods like cheese
• improved energy level from change in medication which actually began a few days prior to going dairy-free
• a combination of the two items above
• something else entirely

I think, at this point, if I get any clear signals at all about whether dairy should be in my diet, it will be on Sunday or later as I resume eating cheese, yogurt, etc. 

During the week, I've been looking up information about dairy sensitivities on-line.  One website actually said that "up to 75% of the world's population is lactose intolerant to some extent."  It further states that "lactose intolerance is known to increase markedly with age." (http://www.foodintol.com/)

Other sources explain that there are two possible issues with dairy foods, lactose intolerance and casein allergy.  (http://www.foodallergysolutions.com/ and many other websites)

There is lots of information out there, but I'm still not sure what applies to me.

Stay tuned.

4 Days and Counting

Well, I've made it to my fourth day of dairy-free living.  Have I noticed any changes in my health?  Nothing definite. 

I have done some researching on-line and see that guidelines vary on whether I should be dairy-free for 7 or 10 or 14 days.  Looks like the original 5 days my doctor suggested probably should be at least 7.  At that point, I can eat dairy again, noting any possible effects it might be having on my health.

In the meantime, I need to figure out some more things I can eat; my menus are getting monotonous.  (I did find out yesterday that Miracle Whip is okay - I can't believe I was actually excited about Miracle Whip!)

Stay tuned.

Love Your Credit Union!

I grew up with the words "credit union."  My dad was treasurer/manager of a small start-up credit union; their office was in the alcove on the second floor of our home in the 1950s.  When we moved to a new home in the 1960s, the formal dining room became the credit union office.  As it grew, it eventually moved to its own office space and then to its own building.

To earn spending money (coins, not bills), we were sometimes assigned the task of rubber-stamping the address and phone number on endless pieces of credit union literature.  Occasionally, when the books wouldn't balance, my dad would have us check the numbers on a long adding machine tape while he read off the shareholder ledgers.  (This was before the computer age!)

Today I still belong to a credit union - a new one that I joined last summer when I moved back to Portland.  I've been very happy with their service and have even recommended it to a couple of people.  (check out http://www.unitusccu.com/)  

When I tried to use my debit card at the post office today, it wasn't accepted.  Wondering what was going on, I drove home and became busy with various tasks.  About 5:00pm, I realized my phone had not been on and discovered a message from my credit union. 

I called back and found out that a merchant security breach had prompted them to "disable" a group of debit cards to prevent unauthorized activity.  The credit union employee explained all this to me in a very pleasant and patient manner, assuring me a new card would arrive in the mail soon.  Their quality of service reminded me of how pleased I am to be a member.

Dairy Free?

Yesterday I began a trial period of keeping to a no dairy diet.  Dairy free might be a more positive way to say it, although it feels more restrictive than free right now.

Of course, the idea behind this diet experiment is to free myself of some of the health concerns I've been experiencing.  My doctor recommended this, but I haven't been too enthusiastic.  Cheese, yogurt, ice cream, and other dairy products are some of my favorite foods!

I've gradually eliminated most dairy foods from my refrigerator.  Now, armed with almond milk and vegan spread (plus a small container of almond frozen dessert for emergencies!), I have successfully reached Day 2.  My understanding is that I have to keep this up for at least five days in order to evaluate whether it is making any difference in my health.

Stay tuned.

Something Fishy

My son returned from his camping and fishing trip Friday afternoon (June 10).  He looked happy, tired, and sunburned (yes, they had at least some sun!).  Lots of trout were caught, according to his report, and many games of cribbage were played.

Fortunately, he and I had time for one more short outing.  My niece met us at Sushi Town (http://www.gosushitown.com/) to guide him through his very first sushi meal.  For several minutes, our most frequently said words were, "What is that?"  (I enjoy sushi, but I've only had it a few times so my niece was the expert for the evening.)

I was counting down the hours we had left, and all too quickly it was time to take my boy (okay, he's 36) to the airport.  There is already talk of when he might visit Oregon again - and when I might visit North Carolina.  Sigh.

An Awesome View

The first stop that my son and I made on our June 3 trip to Multnomah Falls was Chanticleer Point.  According to Wikipedia, it is "the first notable overlook one encounters as one travels east on the Historic Columbia River Highway" (the Highway rates its own entry in Wikipedia.)

Chanticleer Point is officially known as the "Portland Women's Forum State Scenic Viewpoint," and a plaque placed at the site describes the Forum's support of this landmark. (http://www.portlandwomensforum.com/)

The photos I post in this blog cannot possibly do justice to the views from the Point.  Awesome is an overused term nowadays, but I was awed in the sense of being struck with "a mixed feeling of reverence, fear, and wonder, caused by something majestic, sublime, sacred, etc." (http://www.yourdictionary.com/)

We were there on a sunny day with a pleasant breeze.  I could not help but think of Lewis and Clark traveling this same area, west in November of 1805 and east in April of 1806.  The weather certainly would have been less favorable in those months.

When we drove east of Portland that day, we did not even know about Chanticleer Point - like Vista House (see June 7 blog entry), it was another unexpected bonus along the way.

Stay tuned.

Generations

Last Saturday's family get-together got me thinking about how one generation succeeds another and how that affects my perspective of family holidays and other events.

As a child, I remember traveling to see my mother's parents.  They lived in a multi-story apartment building in downtown Portland (with an elevator and two levels of basement parking - pretty intriguing for a kid from Corvallis!).  Along with my siblings, I was one of the youngest in attendance.

The grandparents served a big Thanksgiving dinner every year on a round table that took up most of their living room.  Everything seemed interesting and different, from the delicious turkey eaten with sterling silver to the apartment windows looking over the Park Blocks.

As a young wife and mother, I usually had responsibilities related to food served at family dinners (somehow I earned the title of "Gravy Maker") as well as keeping track of my son.  Usually there was an older generation as well as a younger generation present.

Sometimes I was the hostess, responsible not only for food but also for adequate seating, clean bathrooms, etc.  Not to mention preparations prior to and cleanup afterward!  If I wasn't the hostess, there was usually a potluck dish to take and always a certain amount of packing and a drive to another city or town.

Last Saturday, my son helped me to bake a ham, load the car, and drive about 30 minutes to visit with family.  I didn't have to do a lot of preparation, serving, or cleanup afterward.  But, the biggest difference was when I realized I was the oldest person there - every person present was younger than me.

All of my life, I knew that something like this would happen eventually, but I never spent time thinking about it.  One year followed another, one generation followed another, and suddenly I had a vivid reminder that I was in a new place in my life - a place I had not planned for as I had planned for college, work, marriage and motherhood. 

Here I am.  Stay tuned.

Spring Comes

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes,
and the grass grows by itself.  (Zen Proverb)

Spring may come slowly, but it does come.  Haven't the sunshine and warmer temperatures been great?

Vista House

Although I have lived many years of my adult life in the Portland area, I visited Vista House for the first time last Friday on our day trip to Multnomah Falls.

Vista House is 24 miles east of Portland on I-84.  It was "built between 1916-1918 as a memorial to Oregon pioneers, as a comfort station for those traveling on the Historic Columbia River Highway and as an observatory. The octagonal stone structure towers 733 feet above the Columbia River and is listed on the National Register of Historic Places..."  (http://www.vistahouse.com/) 

In addition to its spectacular location and interesting design, I was intrigued by some of the special features such as the stained glass windows.  We enjoyed visiting the historical display and the gift shop inside the building, too.

Vista House was an unexpected bonus on our trip to Multnomah Falls - almost like we had made a discovery in our own back yard!  I now wonder how many other "gems" there are to explore less than an hour's drive from home.

Stay tuned.

A Precious Time

The first six days of June have been precious.  My son arrived on June 1 and left yesterday for five days of camping and fishing with his dad and his uncle.  I will get to see him briefly when he returns Friday evening and I take him to the airport the next morning.

Our time has been full with family activities, but we have also enjoyed mom-and-son traditions from the past and even squeezed in a new adventure.  Here are some of the things we did:

• two visits with Mom/Grandma on Thursday and Sunday
• a family potluck/birthday party on Saturday
• a day trip to Multnomah Falls on Friday
• numerous games of Triple Yahtzee
• meals at some favorite restaurants, including one that we have visited together since the late 1970s

The trip to Multnomah Falls was our new adventure.  Even though we were both born in Oregon, I could only remember seeing the Falls once before.  My son had no memory of ever visiting them.  So we took our time driving east from Portland, first on I-84 and then on "scenic byways."  Chanticleer Point and Vista House were unexpected finds along the way.  And, we appreciated the beauty of several other waterfalls in the area.

Another new experience was our joint purchase and preparation of a whole ham for Saturday's family get-together.  We don't usually cook together, and neither of us had ever prepared a hunk of meat like this before (20 pounds!).  Even my Thanksgiving turkeys are usually in the 12-15 pound range.  The ham was a success, and I now have a ham bone and chunks of ham in the freezer, even after sharing leftovers.

Stay tuned.

Going, Going, Gone!

Today marks two weeks since the last time I took the prescription that I wrote about in my May 22 blog entry.  It has been a process that sometimes felt good and sometimes not-so-good, and I am glad I have been able to reach my goal.  Again, I thank the family and friends who have supported me during this time.

Of course, reaching this goal is just one step of the plan that my doctor and I are working on, but it is great to feel like I am making at least some progress.  In the meantime, there have been disappointments with recurring pain and sleep issues.  But, if I remember I only have to take one step at a time, it is does not feel so frustrating and overwhelming.

Many a man had taken the first step. With every additional step you enhance immensely the value of your first.  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

How long will it last?

How long will it last?  That is the question I asked the dentist today when we talked about a dental care option.  How long will it last?  People, including myself, have asked this when the street in front of their home is torn up, when they are experiencing cold symptoms, when their toddler throws another tantrum, when they're buying new tires, etc.

I've also wondered "how long will it last?" with new technology.  (Yes, you've heard this theme before.)  It seems like the minute I purchase a new phone, television, computer, fill-in-the-blank, someone comes out with a new and improved model - maybe even for less money.  The question in these instances perhaps should be "how short will it last?"

Then I come to gratitude, "Thank you for however long or short this is lasting."

• Thank you for my car which has provided me with dependable transportation for almost 11 years.
• Thank you for my spiritual mentor who has been a blessing to me for over 5 years.
• Thank you being taught to read at about age 5, a skill that continues to enrich my life after 55 years.
• Thank you for my Portland apartment which has been my home base for 1 year.
• Thank you for the reliable service my computer has given me for nearly 6 years with the help of my extraordinary computer tech.
• Thank you for the love I felt in the minute it took to read a card from my son.
• Thank you for the warm feeling I've felt every time I think about that card.

I guess I could sum up the gratitude portion with a prayer I learned as a child (50+ years ago):

Thank you for the world so sweet,

Thank you for the food we eat,

Thank you for the birds that sing,

Thank you, God, for everything.
Amen.

Going, going . . .

Since mid-April, I have been on a schedule of gradually decreasing one of my medications (a prescription I have been taking for 19 years).  It is a slow process, recommended by my physician, designed to minimize any symptoms of withdrawal.  The first couple of weeks was no problem, and I thought, "this is going to be easy." 

As May started, and my dosage was further reduced, life was a little more challenging.  By the 10th of the month, I felt doubtful whether I could continue.  Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all?  Or maybe I had reached a point where I could go no further?  In other words, maybe I wasn't going to get to my goal of no longer taking the medication at all.

I felt exhausted and confused.  Fortunately, a friend urged me to call my doctor.  Talking with him helped to clarify my thinking, and I decided to stick with my plan of gradual decrease.  That was May 12.

Ten days later, I am still on track to be completely done with this medication by June 1.  Some days are going better than others, but I feel optimistic about accomplishing this goal.

I am grateful for a physician who is committed to helping patients find a treatment plan that works well for them.  I am grateful for the support of the family and friends who know what I am working on.  And, I am grateful for the inner guidance to do what is best for my health and the strength to see it through.

A Quiet Friday

Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day - like writing a poem or saying a prayer.  (Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

After several meetings and appointments this week, it was a relief to have a quiet day at home.  I was able to catch up on some of my paperwork, do a little writing, clean up the kitchen, and attend to other tasks and activities. 

Anne Morrow Lindbergh's words are a poignant reminder for me as the busy days resume next week.  Being in the quiet can happen every day and not always in the same way.  It is a precious gift that only I can give myself.

A Day for Mothers

Sunday was a day for mothers.  I spent the day at home alone, but I probably thought about mothers more than I usually do.

There are so many kinds of mothers:  birth mothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, stepmothers, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, godmothers, stay-at-home mothers, working mothers, single-parent mothers, house mothers, room mothers, spiritual mothers, honorary mothers - even Mother Earth and Mother Nature.

Mothers can each look, speak, or act in different ways.  They can be considered as good mothers or bad mothers or maybe not considered as mothers at all.  All of them in their own way potentially provide the nurturing, encouraging, comforting qualities associated with the word motherhood as well as any guidelines, challenges, and discipline that might be needed.

Whatever kinds of mothers I've had, I have learned from them.  Sometimes the lessons are not grasped until much later - maybe as I have taken on more motherly roles myself, perhaps as I see my own mother in declining health in her final years, or possibly as I conceptualize my own version of "It takes a village to raise a child."

I hope every mother, whatever kind of mother, enjoyed their special day yesterday.  I hope everyone with mothers honored them yesterday and honors them every day.  As we all know, motherhood doesn't just happen on the 2nd Sunday in May; in most cases, it is a 365-day-a-year role.

Mother Goose Day

I just discovered that Sunday, May 1, was a special day for another reason.  This is what I found at www.delamar.org/gbwishex.htm.

A wish made on a goose on May 1, which is Mother Goose Day, has a powerful chance of coming true.  Make your wish, then shout at the goose:

Mother Goose, Mother Goose,

Go and set my wish loose.

If the goose runs away, your wish may come true.

Too bad I didn't know that on Sunday!  Fortunately, I do know that without a goose - or birthday candles - or a genie from a lamp - I may not have something to wish on, but I always have faith.  After all, faith has power every day of every month throughout the year.

May Day

"May 1st, often called May Day, just might have more holidays than any other day of the year. It's a celebration of Spring. It's a day of political protests. It's a neopagan festival, a saint's feast day, and a day for organized labor (International Workers' Day). In many countries, it is a national holiday."  (http://www.infoplease.com/)

When I was growing up, we observed May Day by making up little bunches or baskets of flowers.  We would take them to our neighbors' front doors, ring the doorbell, then run away and hide (preferably where we could observe them opening the door, finding the flowers, and looking surprised and puzzled). 

The words "May Day" also bring to mind a distress signal from a ship or aircraft.  May Day is most probably an anglicized version of the French m'aidez (help me) or m'aider (to render help to me).  A May Day distress call is only to be used in case of "grave and imminent danger." (http://www.askyahoo.com/)

While I am not in grave danger, I am sometimes distressed by the speed at which the days fly by.  It seems only a short time ago that I wrote in this blog about February ending much too quickly - and here it is already May.  My sixtieth year seems to be running at an accelerated pace, and I keep wanting to yell "Slow down!"

Stay tuned.

Happy Easter!

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  (Psalms 118:24)

Martha and Elizabeth

Martha was born at home in a little town in southern Oregon on April 21, 1926.  She grew up in the Pacific Northwest, went to school, eventually married and had four children, three girls and a boy.  Martha lives in a residential facility for people with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia.  She usually recognizes family members, but sometimes it takes a while for her to remember their names.

Nearly fifty years ago, one of the books Martha gave her daughters to read was The Little Princesses, about Elizabeth and Margaret, the daughters of British royalty.

Elizabeth was also born on April 21, 1926.  She was born in her grandfather's home in London, received an education, and grew up to be Queen Elizabeth II.  She also married and had four children, three boys and a girl.  Today she lives at Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, and other British royal homes.  She is looking forward to her grandson William's wedding in the near future.

These two women who became 85 years old on Thursday led very different lives.  My mother, Martha, has always been very proud of the fact that she was born on the very same day as Queen Elizabeth II and has reminded us of it throughout the years.  We maintain that Mom may not be royalty, but she will always be our "Queen Mum."

Back To My Sixtieth Year

After a weekend of obsessing about 60 Minutes and Three Cups of Tea, I think it's time to re-focus on my sixtieth year.  My attention belongs not on a television program, an author, or a nonprofit organization - it belongs on what I am doing with my own life.

Am I doing what is mine to do?  That is the question that I have to answer every day; there is nothing or no one who can do it for me. 

I started writing this blog over six months ago.  No one told me to do it, how to do it, when to do it.  By looking within, I was guided to start blogging, and I'm trusting I'll know when to start a new blog - or stop blogging - or whatever comes next.

60 Minutes Last Night

I watched the 60 Minutes report on Three Cups of Tea last night with mixed feelings.  I felt I had been misled about how many schools were being built and how many children were being reached by Greg Mortenson and the Central Asia Institute.  I felt disappointed in the reports of questionable financial practices.  I felt a sense of futility when I saw school buildings that were currently being used as storage sheds.  And, I felt sadness as I thought about how many children do not have the chance to go to school - something I tend to take for granted.

Yet even those who criticized Mortenson and the CAI had to admit the impact that has been made on the people of Pakistan and Afghanistan.  Author Jon Krakauer, who vigorously criticized Three Cups of Tea and the CAI's financial practices, also said of Mortenson, "He has done a lot of good. He has helped thousands of school kids in Pakistan and Afghanistan....He has become perhaps the world's most effective spokesperson for girls' education in developing countries. And he deserves credit for that."  (http://www.cbsnews.com/)

Whatever the "facts" of the matter, Mortenson could have done some things differently.  What strikes me, however, is that he did something.  He did something in a difficult place at a difficult time.  Geographical, political, and many other factors were not favorable - but Mortenson took action.  He may not have done it right - if there even is one right way to do something - but he did it.

Stay tuned.

60 Minutes Tonight

I've heard that CBS' 60 Minutes will have a report on Three Cups of Tea and its authors tonight.  Apparently, there are some doubts about the veracity of the book and even about the management of the related charity, Central Asia Institute.

Because reading this book has been on my "to do" list for several years - and I finally read it late last year - the announcement of this upcoming program feels disturbing.  Have I been hoodwinked into reading a book that is a pack of lies?  Is the 60 Minutes segment going to attack someone who has been painted as a crusader for education, especially the education of girls, in central Asia?  Or, is it going to reveal a hoax that has greatly exaggerated and/or distorted the activities of Greg Mortenson and the Central Asia Institute?

The feelings and the questions that come up for me almost make me doubt my own ability to formulate meaningful goals.  Was I completely misled in making this book a priority read for myself?  Was I totally naive to believe most of what I read?

I remind myself that I believe in lifelong learning.  Most of what I've learned in the past holds true, but being open to new information and experience may change or even disprove what I think I "know." 

Stay tuned.

Let It Be

Sometimes I like to know things:  the ingredients to make something delicious, when a special event is happening, how the detective in the story solved the mystery.  Making a dish that tastes good, having the opportunity to participate in something I enjoy, understanding how someone moves from confusion to clarity -- for me, these are good.

Sometimes I need to know things:  how to keep my car running, how to fill out my tax forms, how to successfully pass through airport security.  I can't say I like stopping at gas stations, submitting government paperwork, or taking my shoes off at the airport -- however, these are still good for me to know.

Sometimes there are things I want to know, but I just don't take the trouble.  Sometimes there are things I don't want to know. 

And, sometimes there are things I will never know.  Last week, a friend took her own life.  I don't know why.  All I can do is be at peace with not knowing, accepting what is without explanation.  All I can do is let go and let it be.

Twelve Month Plan IV

In my last blog entry, I said I felt like I hadn't "done a whole lot" since October 8, 2010.  Maybe I should have given myself more credit.  Here is what I found as I reviewed:

I am glad I took the time to create a page for my "Twelve Month Plan."  Not only does it list some of the goals and intentions I have for my sixtieth year, I have noted some of the activities I've done in support of those goals and intentions.  This is in itself has been valuable - both to help me keep focused and to record my progress.

The big "aha!" moment for me was the realization that there are more words in the Plan describing what I DID do than what I DIDN'T do.  It is so easy to look at - and brood over - what I haven't done or where I think I've fallen short.  But, when I read my Plan, I can see the steps I've actually taken (with substantiating evidence!).

I can scold myself for what hasn't happened and feel discouraged or guilty.  Or, I can appreciate what has happened and feel pleased and thankful.  (And, I can use this information to update my Twelve Year Plan as I enter the second half of my sixtieth year.)

Stay tuned.

Halfway Through?

I started this blog with the idea of recording my sixtieth year, starting with my 59th birthday on October 8, 2010, and ending with my 60th birthday on October 8, 2011.  So, that would make April 8 (today!) my halfway point.

 Do I feel like I'm even close to doing half the things I wanted to do in my sixtieth year?  Well, no.  I feel I've accomplished a few things, tried a few things, researched a few things - and thought about a lot of things.  But, I don't feel like I've done a whole lot.

I think this is the weekend to pull out my Twelve Month Plan, along with all my other lists, and check off what I've done and add whatever I hadn't thought of before.  Then, to look at my Twelve Month Plan, and prioritize the items to be carried forward into the second six months of this project.

Stay tuned.

Look For The Good

With all of the healthcare debate, not to mention the people who are losing their jobs and their insurance coverage, I feel very fortunate to be covered by a good - although rather expensive - healthcare plan.

Last month, I received a notice that my premiums were rising $125/month.  This caused some concern (nobody had sent a notice that my income was rising $125/month!).

What is interesting is that my insurance company has expanded their coverage to include "alternative" healthcare providers such as naturopaths, chiropractors, and acupuncturists.  This will help pay for the acupuncture treatments that relieve my sore thumb joints and provide more options for other problems that "conventional" medicine has not been able to solve.

I'm still not thrilled that my insurance premiums are rising.  But, after some consideration, I can see that there may be some advantages to the broader coverage that is now in place.  I might even be able to find ways to save on my healthcare to help offset the increase.

In our nation's current healthcare crisis, it sometimes seems difficult for me to see anything good.  However, the more willing I am to look for it, the better my chances of finding it.

April Showers

March winds and April showers bring forth May flowers.  (Mother Goose)

I've enjoyed the cheery yellow daffodils over the month of March and the breaks in the weather when the sun peeks through.  However, the thought of a month of April showers is dampening (ooooh).

Sometimes I like to remember the realization I had on my first airline trip.  Once we rose above the layer of clouds, the sun shone radiantly.  There is always a bright spot - even if I can't see it.

Still Hibernating?

Well, here I am - five days into Spring.  Instead of pleasurably anticipating all the desirable things I alluded to in my last post, I feel more like a bear that doesn't want to wake up from hibernation.  After sleeping up to ten hours at night, I still find myself taking one or two naps every day.  Even when I'm awake and out of bed, I feel like I'm moving - both physically and mentally - at a slower speed. 

Sometimes this feels very frustrating.  It doesn't seem like I'm getting much done, and sometimes I don't feel like I have a good handle on what I should be doing.

But . . . there is another side to this.  Moving at a slower speed forces me to be more present in the now.  I have to be more focused on the person or the chore or the information in front of me.  Multi-tasking is less of an option, but being conscious of what I am doing is more crucial.  I think I may be noticing things I may have missed when operating at a more energetic pace.

Mmmmm.  Sounds like I'm back to enjoying the journey again.

Harbingers of Spring

Many years ago, a neighbor complimented me on my dress, saying that I looked like "a harbinger of spring."  I was quite young at the time and not sure what a "harbinger" was; I hope I remembered to say "thank you."

I know now that a harbinger is someone or something that  signals the approach of what is to come.  The neighbor was complimenting me because, in wearing that dress, I reminded her of something desirable that was coming soon.

A harbinger of spring can be many things to many people:

• The blooming of a daffodil
• The appearance of the star Arcturus
• The first sighting of a robin
• The baseball equipment truck headed for spring training

And these are only a few examples!

Whether I get excited about blossoming trees or opening day for my favorite team or just warmer temperatures, there is a sense of anticipation.  I am looking forward to things I enjoy.

What is good to remember is that every moment is a part of the process; every day is a step in the journey from here to there.  Do I want to wait until the sun is shining and gardens are bright with flowers - or do I want to embrace life now?

God Bless America

Yes, indeed, 'God Bless America.'  But not so that America can stand and gloat about how superior we are and expect the rest of the world to pay homage.  No, God should bless America so that America can be a beacon of light to the rest of the world; to illuminate a path to peace and justice amid conflict and discord.  God bless America so that it can live up to the mission that is symbolized by the torch held aloft in New York Harbor, 'Liberty Enlightening the World.'
(paraphrased from a sermon by Fr. Eric Diskin, January 6, 2002, and found at www.cs.cmu.edu/~mjs/fav-quotes.html.)

Beautiful Beach

The weekend at Lincoln City was absolutely beautiful.  The sun was out, the sky was blue, the temperatures were warm without too much wind.  The scrapbooking room had windows which provided an ocean view as well as natural light to work by.

I was happy to see Terrie, Shirley, and Joan, three of my friends from the now-closed Scrapbook Fever in Salem.  It was also fun to meet Stacy in person and visit her "Scrap Shack" for the first time.

Working with my Arizona photos reminded me of how much I learned from and enjoyed my trip.  I decided to include some of my journaling and blog entries in my scrapbook for a more complete description of the experience.  I still have quite a ways to go to finish the scrapbook, but I am finding pleasure in the process.

Some parts of the weekend felt sad.  Since many of my trips to the Oregon coast in recent years have included my son, I was missing him a lot - in fact, I actually called him from my motel on Sunday morning.  Being with a large group of scrapbookers reminded me of how much I missed all the folks from Scrapbook Fever and the sense of community we shared.

Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together?  I guess that wouldn't work.  Someone would leave.  Someone always leaves.  Then we would have to say good-bye.  I hate good-byes.  I know what I need.  I need more hellos.  (Charles M. Schulz)

Going to the Beach

I am looking forward to traveling to Lincoln City this weekend.  I'll be at an all-day scrapbooking session on Saturday, then staying overnight at D Sands Motel (see http://www.dsandsmotel.com/), where my son and I have stayed several times in the past (most recently in September 2010).  Scrapbooking at the Oregon Coast - two of my favorite things - I am so excited!

This will be the first time I've been to a large group "crop" since Scrapbook Fever in Salem closed in December of 2009.  This will also be the first time I've been to a "crop" sponsored by Stacy's Scrap Shack in Lincoln City. (see http://www.scrapshackshop.com/)

I plan to work on my scrapbook of my October trip to Sedona, Arizona.  I had not printed out the photos until this week, and I anticipate arranging them with notes from my journal to remind me of that adventure and what it meant.

To go by myself to a new scrapbooking group/location is a big thing for me.  Since moving to Portland in May 2010, I have done very little scrapbooking compared to previous years.  I see this as an opportunity to re-commit to my favorite craft activity, make new friends, and spend time at one of my favorite destinations - the Oregon coast.

Stay tuned.

Excepting February Alone

Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November;
All the rest have thirty-one,
Excepting February alone;
It has twenty-eight days' time
And, in Leap Years, twenty-nine.

I'm not ready for February to be over.  It passed much too quickly for me, and - although it seemed to be very full - I didn't do all the things I wanted to get done this month.  (Of course, my logical mind tells me that February is supposed to done more quickly.  After all, it has only 28 days.)

I can remember as a child thinking that a month was a very long time.  If someone told me that I had to wait a month until summer camp or Christmas or any other anticipated event, it seemed like  f o r e v e r .  Now, I can barely keep up enough to write the correct month and year when I fill out a form or write a check. 

As I approach my sixtieth birthday, I keep feeling like I want time to slow down.  I want to consciously live each day so that - at the end of each month - I can remember certain activities and experiences with some degree of clarity.  I don't like my month to seem like a 28-day blur.  (Or a 30-day or 31-day blur.)

I am reminded of a quotation that currently appears at the bottom of each of  my sister's emails:

I wish that life should not be cheap, but sacred.  I wish the days to be as centuries, loaded, fragrant.  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Goal vs. Process

In preparing for a job interview today, I came across an interesting article about goal-oriented vs. process-oriented work.  Here's an excerpt:

"For goal-oriented people, growth is sometimes incidental; they grow only because their goal requires them to. Process-oriented people, on the other hand, attain goals because their process will take them in that direction anyway. For them, growth is not incidental, it is necessary, and goals are eventual. Because of this difference, the goal-oriented person will not necessarily be able to look past the goal to the next goal until they get there. The process-oriented person will instead already be thinking about future goals, since everything they do is focused to the process of improving; goals just give them a direction in which to move. To the goal-oriented person, goals are end points. To the process-oriented person, they’re simply mile markers."  (http://www.gnorb.net/ - 5 March 2007 post)

This reminded me of one of my very first blog entries back on September 28, 2010.  At that time, I was thinking of cooking as producing an end product - a dish or a meal.  It struck me that by paying more attention to the process - rather than just getting food on the table - I might enjoy the experience more.  I might even become a better cook.

I'm going back to my Twelve Month Plan to see how much I'm focused on goals and how much on process.

Stay tuned.

From the Heart

Last Friday, my sisters and I had a meeting at the Alzheimer's residence where our sweet mother lives.  They are moving her from Level 1 care to Level 3.  Her decline over the past six months has been such that she gets to "skip a grade." 

It was a sad day for us, but we are grateful she is in competent and caring hands.  Thankfully, her smile and sense of humor are still present, too.

Our family keeps a record of doctor visits and meetings with residence staff.  We also share our experiences with Mom in an on-line journal.  All of these are in a format that all family members can access from wherever they happen to be. 

So, I've been writing up the notes from the meeting, the notes from the doctor visit that same afternoon, and comments about our time with Mom.  My sisters will add their comments as well, and we will be able to refer back to our notes to prepare for future meetings and appointments.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.  May we extend love not only to our sweethearts but to every life we touch.