Almost Six Decades

The reason I started this blog was because I was embarking on my sixtieth year on this planet.  I thought it might be interesting to keep a record of some sort.  I don't know exactly what I thought would be so interesting to record - I guess I'm still trying to figure it out.

I've been around for almost six decades (59 years, 2 months, and 22 days), and I find myself at a point unlike any before in my life.  Most of the time, there were experiences and goals to look forward to:  going to college, getting married, having a baby, moving to a new city, starting a new job.

Right now, the road ahead seems difficult to see, much less navigate.  I've never looked forward to retirement as a goal, and I expect my current semi-retirement to be temporary.  But, who do I want to be, what do I want to do, and where do I want to go?

My Twelve Month Plan is attached to this blog.  It lists a number of intentions and activities for my sixtieth year.  Beyond that, there is a big question mark.  That's what I'll be thinking about over New Year's weekend. 

Stay tuned.

$5

When I was a freshman in college (1969-1970), if I had a $5 bill tucked away, I felt like I had an emergency fund.  What did $5 represent?  Well, $5 was how much I got paid for working as a receptionist three hours each Saturday morning at a local optometrist's office.  It could buy a concert ticket or 26 19-cent hamburgers or 83 6-cent postage stamps.  I didn't have a car, but $5 could buy 14 gallons of gasoline. 

Nowadays, it would definitely take more than $5 to fulfill my definition of an emergency fund, but $5 still counts for something.  A fast-food meal or a frozen entree, a local bus ticket, a bottle of store-brand pain medication - all these can make a difference for under $5. 

And, with December 31 fast approaching, a year-end contribution of even $5 will be welcomed by a favorite cause or charity, most of which have been hard-hit in recent years.  Many groups have secure on-line donation websites, so no expense for envelope or stamp is involved.

The $5 that felt like so much 40 years ago is still worth something.  It is up to me to make it count.

Stay tuned.

Four's a Crowd?

Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee.  ~Montaigne

During a recent evening with three friends, I became aware that they were referring to experiences and events in which I had not been included.  I immediately started to think of what I might have missed and to feel like I was left out.  It seemed like "three's company, four's a crowd."

Fortunately, it didn't last long.  I realized that - whatever they may have done without me - I was with them now (by invitation), and it was up to me to make the most of it.  As we shared food and conversation, I took pleasure in their company without worrying about my ranking on their scale of friendship.

I know that, in the past, I sometimes let feelings of hurt or rejection take over and spoil what is happening in the present moment.  Thankfully, on this particular evening, I did not allow that to happen, and I was able to rejoice in the here and now.

Stay tuned.

Three Generations

Our Christmas celebration last Saturday was very special.  Mom was able to spend the day with us - us being all four of her children and almost all her grandchildren.  The three generations had a festive and relaxing day with delicious food, exchanging of gifts, and some hot games of Scattergories and Buzz Word.  The highlight of the day was brother Michael and his girlfriend announcing their engagement. 

Since Mom moved into the Alzheimer's facility last February, her condition has slowly declined.  It felt sad to see her celebrating Christmas in a wheelchair, but it didn't seem to dim her smile for a minute.  I enjoyed hearing her call me by name when she first arrived and seeing her try on the "reindeer antlers" that someone was passing around.

We've been told that - by next December- we will probably have to visit Mom at her care home for Christmas.  It is unlikely she will be able to attend another family get-together.  Fortunately, we have the memory of Christmas 2010 to carry with us to future holidays.

Stay tuned as the twelve days of Christmas continue.

Wait a second!

Please note that I have re-written one sentence from yesterday's blog.  Instead of "I am vowing to write every day for 12 days in this blog, hoping it will be the beginning of a more consistent writing practice," I now state that "I vow to write every day for 12 days in this blog, with the intention of establishing a more consistent writing practice.

Not only does "I vow" sound more definite than "I am vowing," but replacing hope with intention makes for a stronger statement - at least to me.  This is supported by http://www.merriamwebster.com/ where "hope" is defined as "cherishing a desire with anticipation" and intention as "a determination to act in a certain way; resolve."  I am not just cherishing, desiring, anticipating a more consistent writing practice; I am intending, determining, resolving to write more consistently.

Rather than hoping to do more writing, I intend - as Captain Picard might have said - to "make it so."

Stay tuned.

12 Days of Christmas

When are the twelve days of Christmas?  They are generally considered the days between Christmas and Epiphany.  Some say the twelve days are December 25 to January 5; some say they are December 26 to January 6.  Either way, Christmas has just begun or is just about to begin. 

Right now, many are cleaning up wrapping paper and ribbon and dealing with dirty dishes and empty bottles, thinking that Christmas is over for another year.  But isn't it really just starting?  The Christmas story is the story of a birth - and a birth is a beginning. 

Beginning now - December 25 - I am vowing to write every day for 12 days in this blog, hoping it will be the beginning of a more consistent writing practice.

Stay tuned.

Rejoice!

"Rejoice evermore.  Rejoice evermore.  Oh, I wish that it was always in my heart and in my tongue."  (John Adams as portrayed in HBO mini-series)

A few years ago, I was in a discussion about when in our lives we felt joy.  I was struggling to come up with something or someone or sometime that had brought me joy.  Not just something that made me happy, not just something I thought was pleasant or pretty, but something that made me feel like rejoicing.  Well, I drew a blank on experiencing joy in my own life.  Instead, I shared the best image of joy I could come up with: the picture of Snoopy as he whirls around dancing, looking absolutely ecstatic.

Since then, I've thought a lot about joy, but I still wasn't seeing or feeling what I perceived as joy in my life.  Then, this year, as I watched the HBO miniseries on John Adams, I was struck by his phrase, "Rejoice evermore."  He had been through many triumphs and many tragedies in his life, and he was now rejoicing as he walked a humble path on his farm.

I'm starting to believe that a particular event or place or person is not necessarily the source of joy in my life.  My awareness of the sky and the earth, the sounds and the silence, the ever-changing patterns of nature - perhaps these are experiences of joy.  The tiniest flower or the smallest gesture or the briefest word may be an opportunity to rejoice.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you . . ."  (St. Paul in I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Moments of joy might show up more frequently in my life if I release my preconceptions about what joy is "supposed" to look like.  I don't have to wait for the big event, the significant achievement, or the perfect partner to experience joy.  It must be around somewhere, everywhere, if St. Paul says "Rejoice always," and John Adams says "Rejoice evermore."

A New Approach to Gift Giving

The only gift is a portion of thyself.   ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

After spending many months clearing out Mom's house, I have developed a somewhat different approach to gift-giving for Christmas 2010.  Instead of shopping, I will be giving things I already have (such as the DVD I bought for my brother-in-law a few years back and forgot to give him).  Or, I will be making gifts that include family photos or memorabilia discovered during the clearing-out process.

In some cases, I will also be writing letters - not just my annual, generic family newsletter - but personal letters to some of the very special people in my life.  I have been particularly inspired to do this letter-writing by a friend who wrote me a beautiful letter last Christmas - and by an inexpensive, on-line short course entitled "The Gift of Words."  (See http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/ for more information.)

Although I originally decided to do this because of all the "stuff" I uncovered in Mom's house, and because I didn't want to spend a lot of money this Christmas,  I have discovered that this approach is a lot of fun.  What do I want to do for each person on my list using the resources I already have on hand?  It is a challenge and a pleasure to come up with ideas I might never have thought of had I just headed for the mall.

Even more challenging, what do I want to say to some of the people I love and appreciate?  Have I ever told them how much they mean to me?  And why they are important in my life?  Putting these thoughts into words will provide a much more personal gift than I could ever buy in a store.

Don't misunderstand - there is nothing wrong with shopping for the "right" gift for the "right" person.  But, what I am realizing this year is that this new approach is giving something to me as well as to my family and friends.  My awareness of what's most important to me is growing, and my gratitude for all the blessings in my life is increasing.

Gumdrop Bread

My two sisters spent part of their Thanksgiving weekend with me, and one of the things we did was to make gumdrop bread.  Gumdrop bread is a big tradition in our family:  we've been serving it at holiday time for decades, the recipe makes a lot so everyone gets to eat plenty of it, and the chunks of colored gumdrop in the bread make it pretty as well as tasty.

With moving Mom into assisted living, and getting her house ready to sell, we hadn't made gumdrop bread for a few years.  Now I was settled in Portland, and it seemed time to renew our tradition.  With my sisters and I planning to get together anyway, it seemed like a natural time to do some holiday baking.

We actually divided up the steps involved in making the bread so that we started on Friday evening and finished on Saturday.  First, there were walnuts to chop, golden raisins to plump, and brightly colored gumdrops to cut up.  Then we had to locate the loaf pans we wanted to use - five of mine and four mini-loaf pans belonging to my sister.  We cut wax paper to fit the bottom of each greased loaf pan.  Before we went to bed, we got the butter out of the fridge so it would soften up during the night.  We were on top of this!

Next day, after a leisurely breakfast, we started by measuring out the dry ingredients to sift.  Oh, no!  Somehow, my almost-full bag of flour had been invaded by some tiny weevils - needless to say, it went straight out to the trash can.  A run to the store was needed to buy additional flour, and my sisters were interested in doing some other shopping as well. 

It was mid-afternoon by the time we got back to the gumdrop bread again.  After careful inspection, the dry ingredients were sifted.  The butter and sugar were creamed in the Kitchenaid mixer; then eggs, vanilla, and applesauce were added, filling the mixing bowl almost to the rim.  All these ingredients were then combined in the stockpot with the walnuts, raisins and gumdrops.  The stirring was hard work, so it was nice to be able to take turns.

All the bread could not be baked at once, so we started with six smaller size loaves, then three medium size loaves.  Then we washed and greased up four of the smaller pans to finish the process.  Baking time was 55-65 minutes for each group, so it was well into the evening by the time we were done.  But, what a sense of accomplishment to look at the 13 golden-brown loaves!  And, what a sense of tradition as we remembered Mom serving this same bread over 50 years ago! 

Next morning, I carefully wrapped two of the loaves in foil, and marked them "Christmas Day."  This year, we will be serving the gumdrop bread to Mom.  We are so blessed!

So Thankful

As Thanksgiving weekend draws to a close, I am so thankful for:

• my sisters and brother, all of whom I got to see over the weekend
• my dear son and his wife who celebrate their 10th anniversary on December 1
• my sweet mother and the pretty green dress she found to wear on Thanksgiving Day
• my cozy apartment and covered parking space
• my computer, my cell phone, and all the technology available to me (even when I don't understand it)
• my love of reading, books, and libraries
• my CDs of Native American flute music that I bought on my trip to Arizona

During the month of November, on several different days, I made a list of 7 things I was especially thankful for at that moment, entering them into my personal, handwritten journal.  Tonight, I share my list with all those who might read my blog, and I invite you to make your own. 

Memorial Services for Laurence

My friend Laurence passed away earlier this fall (see my October 2 blog).  Not too long afterward, his family held a memorial service in California.  Today is the memorial service in Oregon.

In some ways, I feel like I have already been to a third memorial service - at the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona, Arizona.  The Chapel is the site of one of Sedona's famous vortexes or energy centers and just a short drive from the center of town.  It was definitely on my "places to go" list.  With so many things to see and do, however, I didn't actually get there until late afternoon on my last full day in Arizona. 

As I walked up to the Chapel from the parking lot, I admired once again the rugged landscape I had enjoyed throughout my trip.  On entering, I was struck by the powerful simplicity of the Chapel's design and the reverence of all those visiting.  I sat for a while, enjoying the peacefulness, then noticed candles flickering along a side wall.  I asked someone whether I could light a candle in memory of a friend, and she said that candle-lighting would be a part of the Taize Prayer Service which would start in about 15 minutes. I had not even realized that services were held at the Chapel, but I decided to stay. 

As the service opened, a woman asked that we share where we had come from to visit the Chapel.  I was surprised to hear that people from Norway, Italy, South Africa, and many other countries were present as well as those from the United States.  It was clear that many faiths were represented. 

Together, we joined in the chants and readings that made up the service.  Then, we were invited to pick up a candle, light it, and put it on the altar.  The prayerful chanting continued as every person had a chance to participate.  I marveled at this meeting of so many people from so many places, both geographically and spiritually, and their willingness to pray together.  How appropriate it seemed that I could light a candle for Laurence in this serene and sacred space!  Probably no one else there even knew Laurence, but I felt this peaceful coming together honored him in a special way.

I feel very fortunate to have experienced this international and inspirational Taize Prayer Service.  What a beautiful way to complete my trip to Sedona and to remember my beloved friend.

Note:  To learn more about the Chapel of the Holy Cross, there are many websites you can visit, such as www.sacred-destinations.com/usa/sedona-chapel-of-the-holy-cross.  It is quite interesting to read the story of the Chapel, which which was inspired and commissioned by sculptor Marguerite Brunswig Staude, student of Frank Lloyd Wright.

Behind and Ahead

One month later, I am still enjoying beautiful memories of my trip to Sedona.  Although Arizona was never on my "Places to Go" list until this year, I am already looking forward to going there again someday.

While on my Sedona trip, I watched very little television.  When I did watch, I thought it interesting that the programming appeared to be an hour off.  For example, something I would usually watch from 9:00-10:00 was aired from
8:00-9:00. 

"Their programs must be an hour earlier like in some states back East," I thought.  It didn't make a lot of sense to me because everything else in Arizona seemed to be on Pacific time, just like at home in Oregon.

As I was preparing to change my clocks tonight and "fall behind" an hour, I realized that Arizona does not observe daylight savings time.  Did that have something to do with the difference?  If I went back to Sedona today, would my 9:00 program actually be on at 9:00?

I've never been a big fan of daylight savings time.  I could never quite see how we were saving daylight.  But, the changing of the clocks did make me think about the fact that the practices of one place are not always the same as the practices of another place. 

While I was judging the time of Arizona's television broadcasting as being "off," Arizona was operating on the same time it always did the year around.  It was Oregon - along with most of the other states - who was"springing ahead" and "falling behind." 

So, who is ahead and who is behind?  Who is on or off?  Maybe it's just that we are where we are, and it's being in the now - my now - that counts.

Returning to Work

After caring for my mother for the last few years, finally moving her into an assisted living facililty, clearing out her crammed 4-bedroom house, and working with a realtor to sell it, I was able to move into my own apartment at the end of May.  My at-home job of caregiving and caretaking was over, except for some paperwork to tie up the loose ends.

Although I was looking forward to getting back to work outside the home, I kept hearing that finding a full-time job would be a challenge in these tough economic times.  While tracking job listings and submitting applications, I also signed up at 2 temporary agencies, but - as the weeks went by - there were no calls to work. 

An unexpected opportunity arose for me to spend a week in Sedona, Arizona.  I longed to take this trip, but I was becoming more concerned about working (and earning!).  As you know if you've been reading this blog, I did go to Sedona.  But, I started formulating a plan to apply for seasonal work when I returned, probably in retail shops.

On the day before I was to fly back to Oregon, I received a call.  A 3-day office job was available, and I could start the day after my return.  And, there was also a possible 3-week job coming up in November!  After four months, I was returning to work at last.

The 3-day assignment went smoothly, and I am now scheduled to start the 3-week assignment next week.  I don't know what I will be doing after Thanksgiving, but I do feel I've started building a little momentum in the direction of finding my full-time work for this new chapter of my life.

Stay tuned for more on returning to work.

Good Eats

Hard to believe I've been talking about my Sedona trip for several days without mentioning the food.  I ate very well throughout the week while keeping to a moderate budget.

Javenlina Cantina:  Enjoyed a good-sized chicken vegetable burrito (and saved half for another meal).  Tasty food and attentive service.  Chips and salsa were good, as was my St. Pauli N.A.  Choice of seating inside or on the terrace.

Oaxaca:  I selected a delicious omelette stuffed with avocado slices for my late lunch.  Although no automatic chips and salsa appeared as in similar restaurants, the service was prompt, the portions generous, and the price reasonable.  The covered patio was pleasant though noisy with multiple family groups nearby and traffic noise from the street.

Rene at Tlaquepacque:  Located in Sedona's "arts and crafts village," I had a delicious tomato bisque and eggs florentine for brunch.  Service was a little slow, but I didn't mind waiting in the peaceful dining room looking out on the fountain of the Patio del Norte.  The walls were hung with original paintings, and a bridal couple happened to stop just outside the window and pose for their photographer.  The entire experience was charming, and I enjoyed a stroll around the village afterward.

Note:  One painting in particular caught my eye - "Make a Wish" by Libby Caldwell.

Schwezwuan Chinese Restaurant:  They offer a huge selection from the adjoining Martini Bar (I didn't try one this time), and a variety of Chinese dishes in a pleasant atmosphere with good service.  I started with spring rolls then went on to the special chow mein (with chicken, pork and shrimp).  I saved half the chow mein for another meal, and finished with the mango ice cream (two scoops, which would have been enough for another meal, too).

Troia's Pizza Pasta Amore:  This meal was my big splurge - I had "butternut squash ravioli," one of the chef's special's, with a glass of Sangiovese.  The food and the service were both very good; however, I have to admit I've had a similar Italian meal at Pastini's in Oregon for significantly less money.  As I left, the man I took to be the proprietor thanked me and said, "Be well."

Wildflower Bread Company:  Modest prices with scenic views from the large windows.  I ordered a tomato/feta/egg sandwich at the counter, picked up a cup of coffee, and sat at a table where my breakfast was served.  Yum!

Because my room at Red Rock Guest House had a microwave and fridge, I did eat some of my meals there.  The reheated chow mein and chicken vegetable burrito were both good, and I went through a box of cereal and a quart of milk during my stay.  It  is possible to eat well in Sedona without spending a bundle.

Autumn Thoughts (Twelve-Year Plan III)

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."  (George Eliot)

Autumn is my favorite season, and October is my favorite month.  Not just because it's my birthday month, but because the air is cooler and crisper, and the colorful leaves seem to demand my attention.  I don't know if it's the football season or upcoming holiday festivities, but there is a sense of anticipation unlike any other time of year.

While growing up, Autumn always meant the beginning of a new school year, with new classes and new clothes and months of possibility stretching ahead of me.  As an adult, Autumn still feels like a beginning to me, with my October 8 birthday marking the start of another year on this planet, another chance in this life to see what I can make of it.

Today, I am adding another intention to my Twelve-Year Plan: to spend more time outdoors.  This intention is prompted by my appreciation for the season as well as my time outdoors on my recent trip to Sedona.  I am surrounded by the beauty of this world, and I want to take time to enjoy it, not only while traveling but in my everyday life.   Ah, delicious Autumn!

My First Night in Sedona

(Obviously, my entries about my Sedona trip are NOT in chronological order.) 

Looking at my notes, I remember driving north on I-17 from Phoenix.  The speed limit was a breezy 75 mph, as opposed to 65 mph in Oregon.  I saw motor-cyclists without helmets (yup, against the law in Oregon).  And, the cactus plants along the road were an unusual sight for me.  However, as the road begin to climb, it reminded me of I-5 between Roseburg and Grants Pass.  I passed several trucks laboring uphill as I sped along toward Sedona.  Darkness fell quickly, and I was grateful for the explicit driving instructions supplied by Sedona Soul Adventures. 

Once I left I-17, I followed the well-paved Hwy 179 the remaining 15 miles of my journey.  I have never driven through so many roundabouts!  I lost count of them even before I made it into central Sedona.  At each one, I had to think ahead about where I was going, so I would be in the correct lane.  What with being in the dark (both literally and figuratively), it took some concentration to get the hang of it.  Sedona has limited outdoor lighting on its streets and businesses, and I had to keep a sharp lookout for signs - and for the numerous pedestrians who nonchalantly wandered back and forth, in and out of the crosswalks.

I had found my way to Sedona, but it took two calls to my host at Red Rock Guest House before I found my final destination.  Feeling tired from traveling and sore from sitting on the plane and in the car, I decided to walk around outside before collapsing into bed.  As I stumbled down the driveway, I was struck again by the limited amount of lighting.  "Maybe I better just stand still while my eyes adjust to the darkness," I thought.  Then, I looked up at the night sky with more stars than I could remember seeing for years and years.  As I stared at the heavens, I knew - at least for that moment - I was in my perfect place.

Twelve-Month Plan II

A few years ago, I visited a yoga class.  I chose a "gentle yoga" class because I was out of shape and having some soreness and stiffness in my joints.  I found the classroom, the teacher was very clear and encouraging in her instruction, and I left the class in tears.  Even in a "gentle yoga" class, I could hardly do anything that the other students were doing.  I was extremely disheartened.

While on my recent trip to Sedona, I encountered several people who mentioned yoga and its benefits to me.  They told of the difference it had made in their lives and the lives of loved ones, and they urged me to find an instructor when I returned home.  They discussed options such as private instruction and practicing yoga at home with a DVD.  Toward the end of my trip, I was beginning to respond, "Enough, already!  I got the message!"

I did indeed get the message, and I thank all the messengers.  I have already begun my search for a yoga instructor, and I have added yoga to my Twelve-Month Plan.

The Little Rental Car That Could

In order to get from Phoenix to Sedona, and in order to drive around Sedona, I needed a rental car.  I felt a little uncertain about arranging for a car - the only times I've had a rental car in the past was when someone else made the reservation.  Usually, I'm taking shuttles or catching a ride with a friend or family member.

When I went on-line to reserve a car, I was somewhat shocked by the prices, especially the amount of taxes involved in renting a car.  I ended up paying about $280 for a Chevrolet Aveo from Budget Rent-a-Car with unlimited mileage (October 6-12).  Over 1/3 of that was in taxes and fees!

Note:  The coordinated rental car logistics at the Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport are great.  Other than having to listen to a sales pitch for renting a more powerful car, taking out extra insurance, etc., both pick-up and return went very smoothly.

Something Alarming.  Driving north to Sedona in late-afternoon commuter traffic took a little extra time, but my Aveo was performing just fine.  A short distance out of Phoenix, I stopped at an In-N-Out for a hamburger.  The burger was delicious, the restroom was clean, and everything was great - until I got back into my car.  When I put the key in the ignition, the car alarm went off, and I didn't know how to stop it.  I grabbed my cell phone to call my sister for her suggestions.  She didn't have much more experience with car alarms than I did, but she did have one idea - it might have something to do with locking/unlocking the car doors.  After some experimenting, and setting the car alarm off a couple more times, I finally mastered this advanced technology and headed back to the freeway.

Can I Do This Myself?  Toward the end of my stay in Phoenix, I noticed the gas tank was almost empty, so I pulled into a gas station to fill up.  "Oh," I realized, "I have to pump my own gas."  (In my home state of Oregon, pumping your own gas is against the law.)  Opening the little door to access the gas cap was no problem, but then I couldn't get the gas cap off.  I fiddled with it for a few minutes with no success.  Finally, I asked the driver of the car behind me if he could take it off for me.  Of course, he opened it immediately!  Fortunately, I managed to pump the gas, pay with my debit card, and get a receipt with no further delay.

Schnebly Hill Vista.  One afternoon, having no definite plans, I decided I would drive up Schnebly Hill Road to the "not-to-be-missed" vista.  I knew the road was only paved part of the way, but I was willing to give it a try.  I found the correct turn off the highway, confidently driving the Aveo until the pavement ended and I saw the sign "Schnebly Hill Vista, 5 miles."  Five miles on unpaved road?  Well, I was still ready to give it a try - after all, I could always turn around.

As I drove along, every curve in the road brought a beautiful new view of the rocky landscape, but I was starting to feel anxious.  This unpaved road was not gravel or dirt - but rocks.  Hard, uneven, and sometimes sharp rocks.  Occasionally, I saw another vehicle - most of them jeeps.  Should I turn back?  I wanted to see the "not-to-be-missed" vista.

I checked the gas gauge, checked the temperature gauge, and prayed the spare tire was good.  I proceeded slowly, driving about 10 mph most of the way.  Watching my odometer to see my progress, I waited and waited to see each number change.  Sometimes the road was fairly even, but other times it seemed like there was hardly any road at all.  I gave up trying to stay on my side of the road and concentrated on finding the least rugged route, telling myself that - if I got into trouble - I could hitch a ride with one of the jeeps.

Note:  These two smaller pictures give some idea of the drive up; look for the horizontal markings to see where the road took me.

Reminding myself that I could always turn around, I kept going - a little farther, a little farther.  Finally, after what seemed like hours, I was there.  Wow!  Schnebly Hill Vista was absolutely stunning.  I could literally see for miles, and I was truly glad I had not missed it.

For better pictures of the Schnebly Hill Vista, look for sites such as www.takemytrip.com/07sedona/07_13a.htm.

The Little Rental Car That Could.  I drove slowly back down Schnebly Hill Road, stopping from time to time to take a picture, usually from the car window.  What a relief when I reached the paved road!  And what a sense of accomplishment - I had never done anything quite like this before.  For the rest of the day, and into the evening, I continued to marvel - at the beautiful views I had seen, at my determination to reach this goal in spite of my anxiety, and the Aveo's performance on the rough road.  Had this drive been a smart idea?  Maybe not - but the cost of the rental, the unexpected car alarm, the difficulty in opening the gas cap - all of these seemed unimportant when I realized I had been driving The Little Rental Car That Could.

Stay tuned for more on my Sedona Soul Adventure.

Back From Sedona

My Sedona Soul Adventure was amazing, awesome, and any other over-used adjectives you'd like to throw into the mix.  It provided me with what I was looking for - although not exactly what I was expecting.  So much happened in my one-week journey that I will have to report on it in bits and pieces.

Red Rocks.  Yes, I saw red rocks - and orange, pink, grey, and other colors, too!  For someone who has lived her entire life in Western Oregon and Washington, I never anticipated the impact the rocky landscape of the Sedona area would have on me.  The evening I arrived, it was already dark, and I had very little sense of the surrounding terrain.  The next morning, as soon as I opened my door and looked outside, I was immediately struck by the size, color, and proximity of the rocky heights reflecting the rising sun.

I've seen spectacular mountains before - the American Rockies, the Swiss Alps - but something about these views filled me with a sense of awe for the power and majesty of creation.  I was surrounded by sights such as these the entire week I was in Sedona, and they were a major part of my overall experience.

Although a native Oregonian and former Girl Scout, I have gradually spent less time outdoors as the years passed.  In Sedona, I spent time each day walking, meditating, and taking pictures out in the autumn air.  And, every day, I was struck with renewed wonder at the magnificence of the landscape before me.  In fact, I could not return to Oregon before purchasing "Sights of Sedona" which promised a "spectacular time-lapse DVD experience of Sedona's Red Rock Country." 

Three Cups of Tea.  Do you have a list of books you intend to read "someday"?  Well, I do, and Three Cups of Tea is on it.  Although it was published a few years ago, I never quite got around to reading it.  I even recommended it to others, admitting that I hadn't yet read it myself.

Before I left Sedona, I thought, "I should get a copy of Three Cups of Tea to read in the plane on the way home."  After looking for it at one store, I forgot about it, but I did add the book to my Twelve-Month Plan the next time I had computer access.

The day after I arrived back in Oregon, I found out that David Oliver Relin, co-author of Three Cups of Tea, would be speaking at Marylhurst University on the evening of October 16 (that's tonight!).  I now have a ticket to hear him speak and a stronger commitment to get a copy of the book.  I would be inclined to say "What a coincidence!" if I believed in coincidences.

Stay tuned for more on my Sedona Soul Adventure.

Leaving for Sedona

Tomorrow morning I leave on my trip to Sedona, Arizona.  I am excited and a little nervous as I embark on this journey, and I am sad and a little tired after the events of the past week.  I will be staying at a wonderful-sounding place called "Red Rock Guest House," and I will be participating in some sessions arranged by "Sedona Soul Adventures."   (If you want to learn more, go to http://www.sedonasouladventures.com/.)

I hope that my retreat/vacation will be a time when I can look at my life so far, maybe let go of some things I don't need to carry with me any more, and set some intentions for my life ahead.  I've already written down a few things (see my Twelve-Month Plan), but many of my plans are still under construction, and I hope to see significant progress in the coming days.

When I was born in 1951, everything was a new experience as it is for every baby.  As I start my sixtieth year, I am glad I have the opportunity to travel to a new place, meet some new people, try some new activities, and maybe even encounter some new ideas.

I will not be posting new entries to my blog while in Sedona, but I look forward to resuming "Sandi's Sixtieth Year" next week.

Thank you, Laurence

Yesterday, my friend Laurence passed away after a long illness.  His beloved wife Christine has posted some pictures and text at http://www.sacredheartministries.org/

I have been thinking about my time with Laurence over the years and about our recent visits at the hospital, then at home where he was under hospice care.  His life has touched so many people in so many different ways.  What stands out in my mind right now is his gratitude.  While visiting him at the hospital, he said "thank you" more times than I could possibly count.  He thanked every person every time they came into his room.  Whether it was to feed him, take his blood, empty the trashcan - it didn't matter.  He thanked each for their caregiving and support.

"An attitude of gratitude" and similar phrases are not unfamiliar to me.  I have heard numerous strategies such as "write a thank-you note every day" or "think of something you are thankful for before you go to sleep at night."  In my time with Laurence, however, I encountered an example of the gratitude that St. Paul meant when he wrote "in every thing give thanks."

Laurence had many reasons to feel frustrated or discouraged, angry or afraid.  I know he experienced much pain and discomfort.  Even so, he has provided me with the most striking example of gratitude I have ever seen in my 59 years.  For that, all I can say is,

Thank you, Laurence.

Twelve-Month Plan I

In trying to think of plans or goals or intentions for My Sixtieth Year, I have had the idea - not to cook my way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking - but to cook my way through a recipe for Julia Child's Boeuf Bourguignon.  Before I put this on my official list of things to do before October 8, 2011, I thought I'd better look up the recipe.  Whoa!  Before I can even think of making "BB," I need to make "a simple beef stock."  This requires its own recipe, and I found one at www.food.com/recipe/simple-beef-stock-a-la-julia-child-147999.  And, hey, it only has 10 ingredients and 12 steps!

As I wrote the above paragraph, it struck me:  I am usually so focused on the goal that I look for the easiest and fastest way to get there.  In cooking, this means I usually can turn out a pretty good meal (protein, starch, vegetables) in less than an hour - and, often, less than half an hour.  I'm working without a cookbook (it's faster), using as few pots and pans as possible (it's easier), and turning out something that looks and tastes pretty good (it's eaten, sometimes with compliments to the cook).

What if I tried a different approach?  What if I focus on the process or the experience that leads to the goal?   A sort of "not the destination, but the journey" idea.  This could apply to lots of things, not just cooking.

Right now part of me is saying "Aha!" and part of me is saying "Duh!"  But, you know what?  I am putting Simple Beef Stock a la Julia Child on my list.  And, if I can summon up the courage, I may even add Boeuf Bourguigon, too.

Stay tuned for more on my Twelve-Month Plan.

Now what do I do?

Here I am starting my first blog - and I'm not at all sure what I'm going to do with it.  Within the last several weeks, as I approach my 59th birthday, the idea occurred to keep some kind of record of my 60th year. 

My birth date is October 8, 1951, so I do have a few days before that year actually begins.  I plan to spend October 6-12 traveling to Sedona, Arizona, for a "Soul Adventure" (I'm not at all sure what I'm going to do with that either).  My suspicion is that this blog will - at some point - contain a report on that trip.

My ideas for this blog are all over the place - spiritual, informational, political, philosophical, educational, conversational, factual, fictional, inspirational, motivational, and so forth - or some combination of these.  Stay tuned to find out how it unfolds!