Aunt Sandi Says

My sixtieth year is over and - as of today - so is this blog called Sandi's Sixtieth Year. Thank you for reading my blog entries, and thank you especially to those who left comments.

I invite you to follow my new blog at www.auntsandisays.blogspot.com. You will see that the banner at the top says "information and opinion, facts and feelings, argument and acceptance." The truth is I'm not sure how the new blog will develop, but I do have some ideas I'd like to try.

Please visit me at my new address. I invite you to leave a comment and become a follower. And, if you have a blog I may not have visited, please let me know.

I will close this blog with an autumn blessing I found by Kenny Moore at www.uponthesacredstage.blogspot.com/2008/10/autumn-blessing.html

"May this fall season reconnect us to the ever-changing aspects of our lives: color, complexity, beauty and mortality."

Faith and Hope (Again)

Since writing about faith and hope in my blog entry of September 25, I have thought about these words again and again.

What I wrote last month focused mainly on faith in myself and hope in myself, particularly with regard to blogging. Lately, I've been thinking about faith in God and hope in God and how these words apply in all areas of my life.

If I have faith in God, how does that relate to faith in myself? If I have hope in myself, how does that relate to hope in God? How does this all fit together - or does it?

I wish I had some cosmic insight on this topic, but I don't. What I do know is that these two words keep coming up for me in a way that can't be ignored. I'll continue to think about them and write about them as the next decade of my life begins.

I did find this to share ( thanks to http://www.mobixone.com/decent-sms/three-nice-stories-on-faith-trust-and-hope/ )

All the villagers decided to pray for rain.  On the day of prayer, all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.  THAT'S FAITH.

Think of a one-year-old baby. When you throw him in the air, he laughs because he knows you will catch him.  THAT'S TRUST.
Every night, as we go to bed, we have no assurance we will wake up alive the next morning - but we still have plans for tomorrow.  THAT'S HOPE.

Now I have another word to think about - trust!

My Trip to California

I spent my October 8 birthday in sunny weather over a long weekend in Cathedral City (next to Palm Springs).  It was a wonderful time spent reading and writing, attending a workshop, and seeing a part of California I had not seen before.

One of my favorite memories is the time I spent each morning looking out the sliding glass door to the view beyond.  I opened the door several inches so I could enjoy the cool morning air as I saw the blue of the swimming pool, the green of the golf course beyond, and the gray-brown hills in the distance.  The last morning, I got up early enough to capture this photo:

The rising sun transformed the hills to a beautiful pinkish hue.  As it rose higher, the colors changed:

On the day of my birthday, I was pleased to attend a workshop featuring Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way.  Since I am currently taking a class on The Artist's Way at home in Portland, this was particular interesting and encouraging to me.  In fact, even though I had no computer/word processor with me on my trip, I did some writing every day as Cameron recommends.  (see http://www.juliacameronlive.com/ for more information)

I did take advantage of one of the big tourist attractions in the area:  the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway.  It is quite an experience to travel up to the 8500-foot level and enjoy the spectacular view.  For more on my tram ride, please follow my new blog at http://www.auntsandisays.blogspot.com/

Autumn Poetry

The morns are meeker than they were,
The nuts are getting brown;
The berry's cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town.

The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown.
Lest I should be old-fashioned,
I'll put a trinket on.
            -Emily Dickinson

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run.
            -John Keats

It's Ending / It's Beginning

My sixtieth year officially ended on Saturday, but my sixty-first year is just beginning.

As I settle back into my regular routine at home after a week of birthday travels, I am thinking about the past twelve months - but even more about the months to come.

As with so many things in life, an ending is also a new beginning.  This blog will come to a close by the end of October, but my new blog information will be posted here soon. 

The Sylvia Beach Hotel

I just returned from a stay at the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport on the Oregon Coast.  Although I have visited Newport many times and have actually been inside the hotel to visit the gift shop and peek into a couple of the rooms, this is the first time I've actually been a guest.  Why did I wait so long?

For those not familiar with this unique beachfront inn, its guest rooms are each decorated to represent authors and their works.  I stayed in the J.K. Rowling Room decorated to reflect many of the details in her Harry Potter books.  In fact, everywhere I turned, there was another object connected with Harry, from the white owl in the hanging cage to the display of magic wands upon the wall.

Other rooms are decorated in honor of Agatha Christie, Dr. Seuss, Mark Twain, and many other authors.  There is also a community room with comfy seating, a selection of books and puzzles, and a spectacular ocean view.  A hot breakfast is included with each night's stay, and the staff are very friendly and helpful.

Go to http://www.sylviabeachhotel.com/ to find out more.  As Harry would say, "It's brilliant!"

750 Words A Day

I happened upon a very interesting website the first week of August.  It's called "750 Words" and is apparently inspired by the three written pages a day that Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, recommends for people wanting to unblock and rev up their creative energy. 

 I decided to challenge myself by writing 750 words a day using the format at http://www.750words.com/.  As of today, I am proud to report that I've written 750 words a day for 55 out of the last 56 days, and I credit this extremely easy-to-use website with supporting me in this effort. 

For someone who has not had great success in keeping up any kind of journaling practice for most of her life, this is huge.  If you are at all curious, go to http://www.750words.com/ and check it out.  It's fun to read about whether you decide to try it or not.

Write on!

Faith and Hope

More than once, I've found myself in discussions about whether there is a difference between faith and hope.  Not everyone looks at these words in the same way; I'm not sure I always look at them in the same way.

One year ago (September 25, 2010 to be exact), I started writing this blog.  I hoped that I would be able to keep it up, but I don't think I had faith that it would actually happen.  The more I blog entries I wrote, the more my faith in my ability to keep blogging increased. 

As my birthday approaches, I am thinking about my blogging future.  I now have a lot more faith in myself as a blogger.  I have faith that I will continue blogging into my sixty-first year.  What I hope is that I will blog even more regularly.  I hope that the content of my entries will be more relevant and substantive.  I hope I can figure out how to reach more people with my blog.

As I write this, I'm starting to think about how the words faith and hope might apply to other areas of my life.  When I set goals and intentions for the coming year, where do faith and hope come into the process?  I am reminded of a familiar passage:

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.  (Hebrews 11:1)

Friday Flashback: My Grandparents' Piano

This photo was taken at Mom's birthplace, the Wolf Creek Inn in southern Oregon.  The page resting on the piano says:

This piano belonged to John and "Dinky" Dougall who owned the Wolf Creek Inn from 1922 to 1934.  The piano, built in 1887 (the year the Wolf Creek Inn was built), was originally designed as a player piano and was purchased by the Dougalls in 1923...

When the Dougalls sold the Inn in 1934, the piano was shipped to Mr. Dougall's sister in Astoria, Oregon, where it was used for piano lessons.  The Dougalls' daughter Jane acquired the piano in the 1950's and had it shipped to Corvallis, Oregon, where it was used to instruct her children.

In 1999, the piano was offered to the Wolf Creek Inn.  It has now come home after these many years to once again delight a new generation.

I remember one of the first things I learned on this piano was how to find "middle C."  It's too bad the cover is pulled over the keyboard in this photo.  The ivory keys, chipped here and there, would bring back even more memories of piano lessons, piano practice, sheet music, and recitals.

It was great fun having a piano in our home in Corvallis, especially at holiday time.  Now it sits at the Wolf Creek Inn like it never left.

Autumn Equinox

If I could create another holiday on the calendar, I probably would pick the Autumn Equinox.  Not being absolutely sure what the word "equinox" means, I looked it up.  The approximate scientific explanation is that it is a point at which the sun shines most directly over the equator, making night and day almost equal in length.

A simpler way for me to say it is "the first day of autumn."  It's the official beginning of the season when the days become shorter than the nights, and the weather becomes a little cooler (in the northern hemisphere anyway).  It is the best time of the year as far as I'm concerned. 

Here's what I wrote in this blog on October 21, 2010:

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."  (George Eliot)

Autumn is my favorite season, and October is my favorite month.  Not just because it's my birthday month, but because the air is cooler and crisper, and the colorful leaves seem to demand my attention.  I don't know if it's the football season or upcoming holiday festivities, but there is a sense of anticipation unlike any other time of year.

While growing up, Autumn always meant the beginning of a new school year, with new classes and new clothes and months of possibility stretching ahead of me.  As an adult, Autumn still feels like a beginning to me, with my October 8 birthday marking the start of another year on this planet, another chance in this life to see what I can make of it.

This year, the Washington Post says, "the autumnal equinox occurs Friday at 5:04 a.m. (EDT), signaling the official start of fall in the Northern Hemisphere."  I believe that is 2:04 a.m. (PDT) - only minutes away.

Ah, the anticipation of delicious autumn!

This Change Is Good

Hot weather is something I tend to endure rather than enjoy.

Just last week, I felt I was doing everything in slow motion.  Even my thinking processes seemed sluggish in the 90+ degree temperatures.  Each night, I aired out my apartment, praying for cool breezes. 

As I write this evening, it is 57.5 degrees.  The pavement is wet from today's rain.  The air smells fresh.  I used my oven tonight without fearing my apartment would grow too warm. 

This change is good.

Ten Years Ago

"Grief is the most patient and persistent of all of life’s companions.  It is an ancient, universal power that links all human beings together."  (Molly Fumia)

Today, the tragic events of September 11, 2001 - in New York, in Arlington, in Pennsylvania - are being recalled, stirring up thoughts and feelings about our nation’s loss.  While it was a loss for all Americans, it was also a very personal loss for many whose loved ones perished that day.   For me, as speeches and events focus on 9/11, I remember two other days that same week:

September 9, 2001.  It was a Sunday, and it was Grandparents’ Day, and it was my niece Natalie’s 24^th birthday.  Lifelong challenges with deafness, epilepsy, and developmental disabilities led to my niece living in a group home.  Mom and I visited her that Sunday.  We went to church, where the entire congregation sang “Happy Birthday.”  Natalie could not hear, but she knew exactly what was going on and smiled delightedly at the attention.  After church, we went to have her lunch favorite – tacos.  Natalie and I gave Mom her Grandparents’ Day card and a jar of honey, too.  When we took Natalie back to her group home, I remember signing “I love you” as I said good-bye.

September 13, 2001.  It was a Thursday, and it was the Unity World Day of Prayer.  I returned home after an early-morning prayer service and received a phone call.  Natalie's mother, my sister Peggy, said she had been called to the group home, but they wouldn't say why.  Mom and I arranged to meet her there.  When we arrived, we learned that Natalie had died in the night.  The remainder of the week was spent in making final arrangements for this beloved family member whose unexpected passing magnified our heartache following 9/11.

With all her challenges, Natalie lived a life of unconditional love and acceptance.  Everyone was her friend.  She is missed every day and lives in our hearts always.

"The presence of that absence is everywhere."  (Edna St. Vincent Millay)

One More Month

I started this blog to keep some kind of record of my 60th year on this planet.  When I started, I had no idea how my year would unfold or exactly what I would write about.  Twelve months stretched in front of me with a wealth of minutes, hours, and days leading toward my 60th birthday.

Today I have exactly one month left.  It's almost as though I can feel a clock ticking, counting the remaining time until October 8.  It feels a little scary and a little disappointing to know I have not done everything I wanted to do in the past 11 months.  When I read my Twelve Month Plan, though, I can see a record of what has been accomplished in whole or in part.  That feels a little comforting and a little exciting at the same time.  And, I still have 30 more days!

One of the most remarkable things for me is that I actually created a blog and followed through by writing in it several times a month (89 posts to date).  I also discovered there are lots of people blogging, more than I ever imagined, and that they are using their blogs in  many different ways.  This in turn has prompted me to do some reading in other people's blogs, and I have learned things I probably would not have discovered otherwise.

Now, I am starting to think about my blogging future.  Stay tuned.

When Things Go Wrong . . .

I am enjoying the classes at http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/ this year.  The September handout for the One Little Word class contains this thought-provoking passage credited to Anne Lamott:

“Carolyn Myss, the medical intuitive who writes and lectures about why people don’t heal, flew to Russia a few years ago to give some lectures. Everything that could go wrong did -- flights were cancelled or overbooked, connections missed, her reserved room at the hotel given to someone else. She kept trying to be a good sport, but finally, two mornings later, on the train to her conference on healing, she began to whine at the man sitting beside her about how infuriating her journey had been thus far.  It turned out that this man worked for the Dalai Lama. And he said, gently, that they believe when a lot of things are going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born-and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."

(I also found this story in Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott at http://www.salon.com/life/lamo/1997/12/18lamo.html)

Getting Better

"Nothing is worth more than this day."  (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

It's good to feel better today.  The temperature is still at 70 degrees this afternoon (at about 1:00), a nice change from the last week or so.  My GI symptoms are lessening, and I hope this is a sign of long-term improvement. 

To illustrate how energetic I feel, I thoroughly cleaned my stovetop and even scrubbed one of the drip pans!

I also attempted to make poached eggs this morning, a skill I have never quite mastered.  I was somewhat successful, but I think I'll try again later this week to see if I can keep the egg white from almost completely disintegrating.

It's wonderful to feel like doing something - even if it's as mundane as scrubbing a drip pan or poaching an egg.

Soooo Tired But Soooo Prioritizing

My apartment heated up like a car parked in the sunshine as the thermometer rose above 90 degrees over the weekend. For me - a person who considers 65 degrees an ideal temperature - this is a severe heat wave.

I keep drinking fluids, especially water, to combat dehydration. I avoid using the stove, the toaster, or anything that generates heat. It seems to take a great effort to go anywhere, but I enjoy the frozen food aisle when I get to the grocery store. Nonetheless, the hot weather, on top of the ailments I've mentioned in previous blog entries, has resulted in feelings of weakness and exhaustion.

The good thing about this experience is that I take greater care to establish my priorities for each day. I don't like to plan on feeling tired and weak, but - if I do - I want to know that I have accomplished at least one thing I consider high priority. The surprise is usually not in what I have done - it's in what I have been able to let go of doing.

For example, I may succeed in going grocery shopping and putting the groceries away at home. Then I feel ready to rest or even sleep. Later that day or evening, I may actually pay some bills and load the dishwasher. At that point, I may feel like I've done about all I can do on that day. Guess what! I didn't change my bed, read some articles I wanted to read, send a card to my cousin, and several other things. Guess what else! I can still do them tomorrow if they become a higher priority.

I call this OWTM (One Woman Time Management). Fortunately, I have no spouse or children at home, so I am the one who is responsible for making the priorities and for seeing the priorities are carried out. The great sense of power comes when I realize I can change my priorities as much or as little as I want along the way.

Finishing My Degree

Twenty-two years after completing my undergraduate degree, I entered the master's program in adult education at Oregon State University.  The program was designed to be completed in 3 years; it took me more like 4-1/2 years.

This evening I took time to look over my final project - a less formal one that occupied the last month (May 2005) while our portfolios were being reviewed by University faculty.  I did mine in the form of a scrapbook (of course!).  Looking at the pages now, I marvel at all I was able to accomplish in spite of feeling slow, confused, and technologically challenged at times.

This was truly the achievement of a long-time goal, and one I am grateful I had the opportunity to complete.  Here are the final words in my project scrapbook:

"The more I see, the more impressed I am - not with what we know - but with how tremendous the areas are that are as yet unexplored."  (Senator and former astronaut John H. Glenn, Jr.)

Thumbs Up!

This morning, I stood at my kitchen sink, holding a glass of water and some pills I needed to take.  All of a sudden, I realized I was holding that good-sized glass of water in my left hand!

After several months of difficulties with my elbows, wrists, hands, and especially thumbs, particularly on the left side, I can see progress.  The ongoing tendency of my left arm to go to sleep with an unpleasant tinglyness has been lessened considerably.  I sometimes have days now when my wrists, hands, and thumbs hardly bother me.  If they start hurting a bit, that reminds me to take it easy on them (Fortunately, there is no need for me to peel and slice pounds of potatoes every night).

My being able to raise a glass with my left hand was especially exciting because that hand had begun to lose some of its strength and coordination - it was just not functioning as it had in the past.  To regain some of that function is extremely encouraging.

Some may have climbed a mountain, patented a new product, or had a baby recently - and that's good.  Me, I am grateful for drinking a glass of water with my left hand.

I Love The Oregon Coast

What I love about the Oregon Coast (this photo taken in June 2009 at Newport):

• the view of the ocean stretching out to the horizon
• the continuous sound and movement of the waves
• the imprint of my feet in the wet sand
• the fresh-smelling, salty air
• picking up interesting rocks, shells, and pieces of driftwood
• looking at tide pools filled with sea life such as starfish and sea anemones
• eating all kinds of seafood, from clam chowder to grilled salmon
• seeing the colorful kites flying, especially at Lincoln City
• casual attire is always appropriate
• teasing the waves – and getting my feet wet!
• looking at all the other people – and dogs – on the beach
• it is close enough for a day trip and fascinating enough for a long weekend
• the intriguing landmarks(Yaquina Head Lighthouse, Devil’s Punch Bowl, Haystack Rock, etc.)
• the graceful flight of the seagulls
• browsing – and buying – in all the little shops

Waiting

My son was due to be born on August 2, 1974.  He didn't actually make an appearance until August 17.  I only have a dim memory of what the waiting was like.  I do remember it was hot weather, and the blackberries at the end of our dead-end street were ripening.

Along with the waiting, there was a sense of expectation.  Soon, I would give birth to a baby boy or girl.  I was eager to embark on the adventure of motherhood.

Today, I feel I am waiting again.  The weather is hot, but expectation and eagerness are lacking.  I wonder when my health will improve and if I will be able to resume a somewhat normal life - normal for me, at least.

In the meantime, I have come across this passage in my reading:

"I have learned that patience is not my ability to wait, it is how I act while I am waiting."  (Joyce Meyer)